Southern Speak

Hippy Cookies

2012-01-18T17:17:00.008-06:00

My husband and father scoff at anything vegan, vegetarian, or just healthy in general. I tend to be a little more open minded. I will eat meat, but if I had to choose sides I would become a plant eater.

SO, when my 17 month old daughter was diagnosed with severe food allergies, I didn't look at it as a life sentence, but a challenge to find alternative recipes and healthy ways for her to broaden her culinary palet, without breaking out in hives. Two of her trigger foods are dairy and eggs, so I am trying out alot of Vegan recipes. Today, I am trying out Vegan Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies or Hippy Cookies as my husband and father would call them.

Husband thinks they look 'too healthy' and probably taste like cardboard, but my daughter is screaming for more. Case closed.

Ingredients

1 very ripe medium banana, mashed

1/3 cup canola oil

2/3 cup sugar

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1/2 cup whole wheat flour

1/4 cup all-purpose flour

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

1/4 teaspoon salt

1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon

2 cups rolled oats

1/2 cup chopped pecans, toasted

1/2 cup chocolate chips (vegan, if desired)

Instructions

Preheat oven to 350°F. Line a baking sheet with parchment. Set aside. In a large bowl, combine the mashed banana, sugar and oil. Stir until well combined. Add in the vanilla and salt. Stir in the flours, baking soda, salt and ground cinnamon, stirring until well combined. Add in the oats, pecans and chocolate chips; stir until just combined.

Using clean, slightly damp hands (and re-wetting as needed), roll dough into balls slightly larger than a quarter. Flatten slightly with your hand. Transfer to baking sheet and bake for 12 minutes, or until lightly browned around the edges. Cool on baking sheet for 2 minutes. Transfer to wire rack to cool completely.

Wedding = Migraine.

2010-03-30T12:58:00.002-05:00

I am at the very special place in ones life when I am either attending, taking part in, or am a main character in the nuptial song and dance that is a bride and grooms special day. I have decided that after this upcoming foray into the wedding world, I am retiring from the circuit completely. No more Canon in D, readings of 1st Corinthians, no more 'beautiful' dresses; never again to be seen or worn, as if lost to Davy Jones Locker. The next dress I would like to buy for a wedding, will be the Mother of The Bride dress and the wedding will be for that of my unborn daughter. No more meat pies, engraved napkins, dyeable shoes, updos, spray tans, airline tickets, showers, head counts and RSVP's that people either don't fill out or forget to write their name on.

It's not that I disrespect the entire process, but I have truly come to believe the commercialization of the entire ceremony has really jaded an entire planet of brides to be and their friends and family. People now want a part in the 'show' and not really a part in the old as Moses tradition that will unite a man and woman spiritually (and now legally), for life. I can't turn the TV on without hearing a little girls dream of a 'platinum wedding' or 'feeling like a princess' and being a bride 3 weeks away from the aisle, this makes me nauseated. Not only is the focus of the actual marriage lost on all the starry eyed brides, but the only thing they are conditioned to think or care about is 'their day'.

I'm not saying that I don't want a pretty dress, what girl does not want to be beautiful on her wedding day. However, it isn't about the dress or what everyone else thinks or how impressed they are with the floral arrangements or the originality that the bride put into the guests 'favors'. I just truly believe that it should be about 2 people and not just a girl whom is brainwashed to think that she needs one day to 'feel like a princess'.

When asked (daily and sometimes on the hour) if I am excited about the big day, I have had the audacity to have the knee jerk response to say 'I'm ready for it to be over'. I think people take that is me being a brat or ungracious, but what I am really saying is that I am ready and excited to be my fiance's wife. I didn't say yes to a dress or a ring or a wedding, I said yes to a marriage.

Hell is a balmy 32 degrees this morning.....

2010-02-10T08:59:00.006-06:00

After 43 years of our patient prayers, novenas, rosary's and honest devotion, Louisiana finally has a world champion football team. The New Orleans Saints have won the Super Bowl. Never, in all my life, did I think these words would ever be anything, but fiction.

I currently live in Fort Worth, Texas, but I was fortunate enough to watch this historical game alongside my family and close friends in South Louisiana and I have never been to a more exciting party, which didn't end for me until I stepped on a plane at 3pm on Monday. I have no doubt that not even Ash Wednesday is going to stop this celebration, nor will a new football season. This is unbelievable and truly is the stuff Disney movies are made of.

I returned to my office yesterday, just in time to hear a co-worker and season ticket holding Cowboy fan say that he was already sick of hearing 'Who Dat' and there are other, much more important things going on in this country than that stupid game. I am sure that his experience with our win isn't as groundbreaking as it is for those in Louisiana; however, there are several reasons why we shouldn't have to shut our big Cajun mouths anytime soon.

For generations, the country has viewed the boot shaped state with disdain and condescension as if we are the illiterate and uneducated pond scum of the Union. The only thing we are really notable for is our cooking, our hurricanes, Adam Sandlers comedic foder, and our education system. We have long felt the judgemental glare of the Northeast and the bullying laughter from Hollywood and it has hurt our feelings, but we have stayed proud.

Now, and finally, we have something. A phoenix has risen from the ashes of Katrina devastated New Orleans and a state in economic disrepair has something to be even more proud of than our jambalaya.

A new football season will begin in 8 months, so yes Cowboy fan, you may have to hear 'Who Dat' or the emotional tales of what this means for the city devastated by Katrina a little while longer. Everything else going on in the news is kinda depressing anyway, let Louisiana and it's residents have a moment in the sun. I think we have deserved it....

I thought the cars would fly by now?

2010-01-03T22:19:00.010-06:00

I can't believe how time has flown and how things have changed! Not only am I out of college and living in Texas, but Stephanie is preparing to graduate this semester from the college of business at University of Louisiana, just like me! Baby Aidan will turn 4 in January and Steph and Josh have another little one, Charlie, who will celebrate his 1st birthday in February. Also, after a lengthy month long search and the inevitable conclusion that he was gone for good, on New Years Day 2009, Buddy returned home to an overjoyed and now very overprotective Steph.

Apart from being very homesick and traveling back to Lafayette often and to visit my Laffy transplants in Houston, my fiance' and I are busy planning our wedding for April of this year. He and I actually got our start in part because of Southernspeak several years ago and his lack of enthusiasm for being on a blog had a big part in our getting to know each other. I feel very lucky to be the future Mrs. and look forward to all the details. The pic of he and I was taken in the Bahamas and it is probably the first and last picture with him in it that will be posted....blogshy.

I started this blog in 2004 and I feel like it's my neglected 6 year old. I have a facebook page, but just don't feel comfortable sharing my musings on life in general or the appropriate way to have a good friday fish fry with friends I haven't seen since 2nd grade or my college professors.

Prepare for randomness 2010...this year is gonna be a doozy!

Have You Seen Buddy???

2008-12-17T20:19:00.002-06:00

Our beloved Buddy is missing, if you have seen him or have any information regarding his whereabouts, a substantial reward is being offered for his safe return. He went missing in the Youngsville area on Friday 12/12/2008.

Please contact me at (337)280-7715.

Our family thanks you....

Happy New Year!

2007-01-03T12:17:00.000-06:00

Aidan John - Christmas 2006

11 Months

Girl Trip

2006-06-12T11:37:00.001-05:00

GIRL TRIP 2006!!!

Danielle, Lacey, Me, Jamie, Rachel, and Tesha on the beach in Destin!!!

6am...

Flyers, Beer Cans, and a Keg

2006-05-26T08:28:00.000-05:00

I Did It

Fish, White Beans and Super Mario Bros...

2006-04-20T10:21:00.002-05:00

A Blog Update!

I have a few pics from Good Friday...thanks to Christy!

Fried Fish & White Beans!!

Good Friday Fish Fry

Fried fish and lots of beer...we all (except Whit) got together at my house for a fish fry on Good Friday. Good times! Special thanks to the boys for doing all the frying, Tommy for making homemade salsa, Klump for making cocktails and Dani for bringing the white beans all the way from Berwick!!! We missed you Tesha, Justin, Whit, and J. Hill....hope ya'll had fun with your families...

Amanda

Dyer

The Chefs

Tommy and Amanda....

Amanda and Christy Matt & Jack

Christy and I...

Matt, Ash, Ben, Chris

Morgan City, Berwick, Anococo... = )

Klump & Snoopy....Ben&Christy

Good times...

Just an FYI

2006-04-18T14:54:00.000-05:00

When: Friday April 21st
Who: Troy "Trombone Shorty" Andrews & Orleans Ave.
Where: Parc International
What: Funky New Orleans Jazz

WHY: Cuz it's Friday and it's Downtown Alive !

I'm a cheater....

2006-04-06T15:17:00.000-05:00

Dear Southernspeak,

I have a confession to make.

I've been cheating on you... with MySpace.

I know, I know, it's juvenile, but it's so easy.

You, you're a lot of work. We've had some great times in the past, but I will be back very soon, especially once I get a new digital camera to replace the one that was stolen...

I gotta go now.

Love,

Ash

Hummers Humidity Hammered Hilarity

2006-03-17T15:30:00.000-06:00

And so it begins...

Last weekend we celebrated Justin's birthday by going out together in a stretch hummer, courtesy of his girlfriend Tesha. We had a great time and were even graced with Steph and Ms. Dani's presence....a couple pics

Dyer & the birthday boy...

Jamie & Dani 'the desirable' = ) Little sis & I

This rather stern looking individual is Roger, our driver

Dani & Steph....

Dyer & Tesha at Stan's...

Steph & Jamie...

Sarah, Steph & I @ Stan's... Our ride...

Steph & Tesha... Sam, Whit, and an excited Tesha...
'drink drink give be-otch....'
Steph & myself
Mr. LC...
'You must be prepared...'
Ashley & Whit...enjoying the champagne of beer
And this would be....
Turd Ferguson.... Inventive 'Ice-chest' Patron...
How cute...
Jamie, Sam, and Sarah...
Sam, Sarah, and Whit...
'We so street, huh Dani?'

Dyer & Miss Jamie... So who really wants to go to the Plaza???

Stan's + 307 + Legend's + City Bar + Plaza = Good times

'Everyone seems normal until you get to know them...'

2006-03-10T09:38:00.000-06:00

Fat Tuesday

I am fortunate enough to have an uncle whom lets me park at his office on campus and also fortunate that the Dean of Students allowed us to set up shop in said parking lot all day on Mardi Gras...typical Mardi Gras in Lafayette

8:30am....

Super...

Troopers... Big Dummy...

'I see drunk people...'
Middle Klump & Big Klump... Teesha & Justin...
Ron Jere....er, I mean Brett
The spot...

The little devils....

Self picture taking at it's finest.... Ms. Tanya & Ms. April...
NOON...
the funky chicken....

Jack & I... Jamie and Brett...
Aaron & significant other...
'I'm walkin to Albertsons!!!'
Have some Jack...
My little boyfriend...
Dyer & Twang...LOL
Oh good lord...
Jessica & I...(we miss u Amanda)
Jack, Paul, & Adler...
Joey & Brandy....
The 'Klills'... Klump and his 'child' Maggie....
After this picture was taken at Stan's....the camera was lost...good times!

Got My Camera Back!!!

2006-03-09T15:59:00.000-06:00

Lundi Gras
'Lafayette is french for drama...'

Finally found my camera...and here are the pictures from Lundi Gras...I'm pressed for time so ya'll get to make up your own captions for most of the pics = ) Pics from Mardi Gras will be up tomorrow...

It all started at The Filling Station...

Middle Klump & Dyer

Jamie & Justin...

Stan's for the parade...

Whit & Mandy...

It didn't take too long...

LC & I @ Stan's...

Rachel & Jamie...before

Sarah & I...

Rachel & Jamie...After'Yes Justin...he IS my boyfriend' = )

Little Klump & Middle Klump...

'See what happens when you drink Vodka...'

Lots More To Come....

Random Acts of Blindness....

2006-03-01T09:31:00.000-06:00

Marc Broussard @ Nitetown

Justin & Teesha

Klump's lookin a litle wonkey eyed... = )

L.C. & Michael...(Evil Laugh)

Justin & Klump....

Sarah & Dyer

And then it seems we were transported to a wedding reception.... (Klump & Rachel)

Or at least that was what it sounded like...

The other half of this picture is HYSTERICAL...LOL

Don't ask....

Sarah & My shotgunin partner....

The camera is still MIA...but I will have it back soon, I hope. In the meantime, I was sent a few pics taken by Jamie & Sarah...

Blue Moon

Klump & Whit try the deadly 'Gunslinger'

Jamie & Klump...

The Lovely Carmen.... Hot Mess Part II

Crawfish Boil at LC's

My attendance was cut short due to the birth of my nephew...

She's gonna hate this picture....
Tim & Jack...
Whitby & Foster...
'All Mine...'
Genevieve & Katie...
Whitby & Katie Jr...
Kiss the cooks....

Welcome Home 256

Last month the 256 officially had a welcome home parade...Jamie, Justin, and I made it out in support of Klump, Rachel, Dave, Jason D., Marty, Brett, and many others whom spent time in Iraq...

The Middle Klump & I...

Jamie & Klump... Super Dave & I...

Good Times...Thanks for the pics girls = )

Time Flies

2006-02-23T13:50:00.000-06:00

The Little Man

I can't believe Aidan will be 4 weeks old on Saturday...a few of you wanted to see more pics, so here they are....these were all taken this morning

Steph & Aidan

hiding on my bed...

I tried to give him a mohawk....

'This is what they do to babies in Louisiana'

Good Times & Happy Birthday Allison!!

I took a break from studying on Wednesday for Allison C's birthday and went out with a few friends...Sushi, Chocolate Martinis, and a couple of Al's lemon drops...it was a great study break. We didn't get into too my much trouble and we had a great time!! Aimee, you need to come back to Lafayette soon!! No camera, but always a cameraphone...

Is it Friday yet?

2006-02-16T13:48:00.000-06:00

Cameraphone Hell...

I'm not really very into the whole valentine's day thing, but I hope that everyone had a nice day regardless....mine was um, memorable to say the least.

Amanda, Christy, and I at Legend's after the UL game...

The girls at Tampico's...How cute....Christy & Ben = )
Sarah, Dyer, and I...
The little devils....
Guess who doesn't know how to use a camera???
I know, I know...I haven't been posting as much, but school is pretty crazy right now. I did make time to hang out with some friends on Valentine's day at the UL baseball game....and a few other places.

Good times...

'I got a case of the Monday's'

2006-02-06T09:32:00.000-06:00

Skittles for Matt
As most of you know, Jamie's brother Matt is in Iraq. He arrived safely and has requested toilet paper and small bags of Skittles....if you get a chance this is his address

PFC Hill,Mathew
C Co 1/327th IN 1 BCT 101st ABN(AirAssault)
OIF4 FOB McHenry
APO AE 09335

Catching Up
My sister Amanda came in from Atlanta this weekend to meet our new nephew. Saturday night a few of us met up for a few drinks at Bennigan's....

(l to r)Jessica, Amanda, Sarah, Jamie, Michelle, Dyer, Me, and Ben

Sarah & Amanda

Jessica & Amanda

' Cookie & Snoopie'

At Al's...

As usual...to have or not to have shots?

What is funny about this picture?...I was imitating her

We ended up playing pool at Al's...good times....we had alot of fun and we were all sad to see her go.

Speaking of Aidan

Our little crumbdropper is so cute...

Steph, Amanda, Aidan, and I

Business as usual...

I haven't posted much in the last week...school and other 'things' have been keeping me pretty busy...I have pictures from various events within the last few weeks

Jamie & Jason dancing at Blue Moon...

More PDA:)

Klump & Whitby at Blue Moon...

Jamie & 'Hot Mess'

Jamie & Mandy

Julie & I at Pilot's Pub...

Whit 'trying' to play some pool...

Dyer & Mandy...

Whit & his twin...I mean Dad:)

Sarah & Julie...

DYER WINS!!!

2006-01-29T16:22:00.000-06:00

Introducing Aidan John...

At 5:30 on Saturday afternoon my sister gave birth to a 9lb, 9oz baby boy...

Notice his little Ragin Cajun hat....(thanks again Shay!!)

Well...it looks like Dyer ended up winning the $160 baby pool pot...which he has said will be used to buy Aidan some diapers

Word Of The Day...

2006-01-27T13:54:00.000-06:00

Baby Pool Update

27...Jeremy
28...Dyer
29...Whit
30...Josh
31...Josh

Word Of The Day

Bad feedback for $3 eBay sale leads woman to new career in phone sex
Inmate No. 1: "I'm bored, what do you wanna do?" Inmate No. 2: "I dunno, how about I tell CIA agents about a terrorism threat to blow up a major Chicago corporation?" Inmate No. 1: "Cool, what could possibly go wrong?"
Rest easy, ye proud citizens of America, for this year's Super Bowl is being protected from the air by... the Canadian Air Force
Texas A&M owns the trademark to the term "Twelfth Man," plans to send Seattle Seahawks cease-and-desist order to prevent them from using it
Substitute teacher offers contest: "Get better grades and win a date with me." What could possibly go wrong?
Authorities unearth world's largest underground bong
Thai authorities to fine or possibly imprison anyone caught wearing fake braces

Mandatory Fun

2006-01-23T11:34:00.000-06:00

My extremely long birthday weekend...

Last weekend we celebrated my 25th birthday...not just on one night, but on both Friday and Saturday. I won't be doing that again...but we did have a great time even though a few of us were exhausted on Sunday....

So Friday...

We went to Tampico's for karaoke night....
Sarah was the only one brave enough....

Jamie, Dyott, Dyer, and Danielle 'before' quarters....

JP and Tesha...

My little sis managed to make an appearance....

Rach, Me, and Adler....My friends decided that they wanted to teach my parents how to play Quarters...
I have no comment...Josh & Steph...
Liquid courage....:)Tesha & Justin...
Sarah & Jess....
My family made it....
JP, Jamie, Mom....dancing to 'My Humps'....

'Don't cry Ben!!!'...Mom & Dyer dancing to Golddigger

We had a great time and I think everyone got a bit festive....we drank enough to think that Cowboys was a good idea....fortunately, no pictures:)

Saturday

So Saturday we decided to have a 'low key' kinda night...nothing crazy. We all (except for Whit!!)met up at O'Charley's for cocktails...Evertything started out normal enough...

Me, Dyer, and Ms. Sarah

Nothing Unusual

Dyott, Ellen, and Ben

Yeah...Just havin a nice quiet 'dinner'...lol

Dyer and myself...

Miss Shay even made it...And then...

'To have or not to have shots, that is the question..."

Trouble begins...
Ben & Ellen

Yeah, nothing unusual...

Mel & Jeremy

Michelle and Mel...at Al's

LC wants another lemondrop...

Mel does too!!Ben is trying to persuade Ellen & Dyer to go to...damnit...Cowboys

And my trooper Klump...got off of work and drove to Carencro....

So that this man...Big Al...

Could get me to look like this....

YES...I realize that I am not very 'photogenic' after too many shots, but I guess it's OK since you only celebrate once (or twice) a year and I promised J.Hill I would post the previous pick....

That's not even all of them...More to come!

Word Of The Day...

2006-01-20T08:00:00.000-06:00

I know I know!....I haven't posted anything this week, but hopefully later today I will have last weekends birthday pics and Klump's article this week on the 'Chocolate City'...He and I have both been busy with school this week...

Word Of The Day

'My milkshake sends all the boys to the morgue'
Study finds most college seniors aren't prepared for life in the real world. Suggestions to solve this include more real world training in college or creating more jobs that require quarter bounce/beer pong skills
Iceland the first country that will try to abandon gasoline
$150 million laser experiment will mimic massive nuclear explosion. What could possibly go wrong?
Woman sues BTK serial killer for gender bias
Wine drinkers choose healthier foods, beer drinkers choose easier foods and hard liquor drinkers just crawl in the bottle

Friday the 13th....

2006-01-13T09:47:00.000-06:00

= =

Black Friday = Happy Birthday!!!

Ewwww....not only is it Friday the 13th, a full moon this weekend, and rainy, but today is also my last official day as a 24 year old...as of 7:56am tomorrow, I will be a quarter of a century old. Sad face...

BUT! I will have a good time easing into 25...tonight at 7:30 we are going to Tampico's for drinks and karaoke, and no I won't be singing and that is the law (for your benefit not mine)!!!

I am not sure what we are doing after Tampico's tonight and tomorrow evenings plans haven't been set in stone, but let me know if you would care to join us! The more the merrier!

Happy 2?th Birthday Adler

So last Saturday night I attended the birthday party for my dear friend Adler...I will not repeat how old she turned b/c she was pretty bitter that I mentioned it on the blog....but we took pics and here they are. We had a great time...

Adler, Laura, and I

Ms. Adler & Jack

My other sisters...

'Clarence Carter, Clarence Carter, Clarence Carter..." I'm Joking

Dyer and Kaisha...

JP & BDAY Girl...

Klump's Corner...

2006-01-12T12:37:00.000-06:00

Cheesy Ringtones & Stupid Exotic Animals

(An ode to Trux)

Hello everybody. I know I've been away a while and not written yet this year. But back by no demand whatsoever I come to you all wishing a happy new year and all that crap. As some of you may have read, Jamie's brother Matthew is deploying to the ass-crack of the uncivilized world yes folks he is going to Iraq. And I know that sounds like all kinds of fun but it's really not. And I know he will be in everyone's thoughts and prayers and we should all wish him luck. All you Catholics can light a candle or whatever, and all us Baptist will refuse to dance or drink, it's what we do best and we were probably going to do that anyway.

But enough of that, here is this weeks edition of Klump's Corner.

I never liked cell phones. I was one of the last of my group of friends to get a cell phone. I attribute this trend most to my parents whom were the last of their group of friends to get call waiting. It's truly an extraneous cycle. But alas, I gave in, got a Nokia. It was large by today's standards but it wasn't Zach Morris size either.

But for all of my before-mentioned hatred of the cellphone, it pales in comparison to the absolute distaste of stupid-assed ring tones. It brings in a whole new level of eye rolling. Now, please don't misunderstand me. As all eight of you know I am a big proponent of originality. If your ring tone speaks about your character or state of mind, we are cool. If not, please set to vibrate. I can remember for a while my brother had the soul-glow jingle from 'Coming to America' as his ring tone. I was impressed, and I am sure Eric LaSalle was also. Here, in my little column, it pays to be original, and probably also doesn't hurt
to be related to me either. But seriously, I've never heard that classic ditty used so brilliantly. Another one of my friends has a certain school's fight song as a ring tone. This, not as original but I am jealous and if I could, it would be my ringer as well.

And every time I hear the L-S-Poo fight song vomiting out of some jackasses purple phone I wish for that moment I could really be tiger bait. But that is another story altogether. The core issue here is the trendy ring tones, the ones that can be bought from a 15 second commercial that plays between infomercials at 3:00am on (insert shittycable channel).

I can hear it now. (Token deep voice) “Download all the krunkest most jive ring tones on your cellphone for just $2.99. On your cingular wireless phone dial, *98673173 then press pound.” And then I could just name hip hop and rap songs I don’t like because I think that is all that is offered. Really, what if I wanted Black Oak Arkansas’ “Jim Dandy” for my ring-tone? I think to say that I would be hard pressed to find that one, would be an understatement. But I know I could find “Sweet Home Alabama” because every redneck with a big-ass truck and mud tires has that for a ringtone, they just have to.

But then there is that Nokia commercial with the guy singing the Dukes of Hazzard theme song. Now we all went to high school with a guy like this and that is probably still all he talks about. Maybe I could get a Bone-thugs and Harmony ring tone, that would be 'tight'.

Another point, why is it people will bitch about paying $.99 a song when they can download it for free? But these same people have no problem paying twice as much for a 30 second clip of the same song that sounds like it's being played through a bullhorn. It's astounding.

Now I hear we have something called ringback-tones. So I did a little research (google) and figured out what this nonsense is. You the customer, pay additional monies to your service provider so when someone else calls you, they can hear a 'pre-selected song' instead of their traditional ring. So now we can pay money for a song we can't even hear. Unless you call your voicemail of course. Now, can the person calling hear what ring-tone is set-aside for them when they call, or does it have to be different? Aren't we paying for the call when people dial us anyway? When did we become such a generous society? I think I will change the meaning of the word 'generous' to mean the same thing as a word for 'bunch of spend-thrift, shit for brains, idiots', if only such a word existed, I may very well die in peace. I almost used 'fuck-tard' but that's a little harsh.

And of course as all great uses of technology sex has to come into play. Really, how popular would the VCR have been without porn? Imagine how much work could get accomplished in corporate America if we couldn' t look at boobies all day on our desktops? Now we have naughty chat. You can text back in fourth with a complete stranger about you playing with yourself, and it's only $.59 a text. I call it SexText. I can only imagine it goes something like this.

Hello, how r u?

Good, & u

What ru wearing?

Just my panties, (giggle, giggle)

That shouldn't get too old too soon. And the person you are chatting would have to actually write in the giggle parts because, THEY CAN'T FREAKING HEAR EACH OTHER!!!! Of course, I am angry because my phone merely rings to the tune of 'When The Saints Go Marching In.' I am just a jealous and bitter man.

In conclusion, having trendy ring-tones on your phone that change weekly is like being that guy at the park with a really obscure pet that draws a lot of attention. He is just screaming out, 'Hey everybody, check me out. I just bought my personality at the petstore'. People, please don't be that guy, because trendy ring-tones are stupid and exotic animals will probably shit all over your house.

That's all I got
Klump

Happy Hump Day!

2006-01-11T08:47:00.000-06:00

Catching Up

I have been out sick for a few days, but I'm back with lots of pics and Klump has promissed me an article today, possibly tomorrow....so check back later for that!

The 'Baby Pool' is still going strong with no arrival yet...there are a few days left for anyone whom wants in on the action...just let me know!

Down to business...

First Things First

So Mr. Matthew Hill is being deployed this week for Iraq....

He will be missed by his family, friends, and especially his older sister Ms. Jamie...

Please keep him in your thoughts and prayers and leave him some good wishes in the comment section!!!

Happy Belated Birthday Adler!!!

I was out on Monday, but want to wish one of my oldest (literally) and closest friends a happy 27th birthday! Hope you had a great day...! (I will have pics from her B-day Tomorrow)

So On Friday...

We started out our night at Bennigan's...nothing strange or unusual ... just dinner and drinks, right?

Dyer and Ms. Hill having a cocktail...Right...dinner and drinks

Mr. Rando

Nothing out of the ordinary...

Nothing at all...

Just 'havin a nice dinner'....

And then things got pretty crazy...

Ms Hill & Ben...

Dyer doing what he does best...

I'll give you a dollar if you can figure out what they are saying...Jamie is in 'control' of the camera...

Ben, Jamie, and Matt...And someone decided we should go to 'The Plaza' (Ben)...Where fortunately no pics were taken, but then things got really out of hand...

Ben & I...

Um, Dyer...

I think we lost him...

Dyer & I...

Ben & Jamie...

Ms. Hill & I...

Mr. Fish & Ms. Hill...

Oh My...

Jamie, Ben, and the 'pretty lady'...

Ben Loves Matt...

And I quote 'I want some grits...'

That's enough...It was fun, but that's alot of pics!!!

Baby Pool Update

2006-01-08T14:13:00.000-06:00

Baby Pool
How many more 'Weeks'???

There are still available dates open for the baby pool. Below are the baby pool dates taken...if you aren't on the correct date, please let me know!

8...Klump
9...Adler
10..Adler
11...Ben
12..Annie
13..Mel
14..AW
15...Trevor
16...Ben
17...Dyer
18...Klump
19...Steph
20...Jamie
21...Dyott
22...Ben C
23...Josh C
24...Vicky
25...Louis
26...Jess
27...Jeremy
28 - 31...Open

Moving On.....

2006-01-04T15:21:00.000-06:00

Happy Birthday SS!!!

This month marks one year since I started this silly site....and I think all 8 of you are still here! Here are some pics of the first year in review....the majority have never been posted...

In 2005....

We Went With Klump To Iraq

We Went To The Festival's

We all went to a Homecoming Luau....

We Partied ALOT...

We Relaxed Alot...

We Made Time For Our Friends...

Reunited With A Few....

And We Made Time For Family...

Looking forward to another great year....

and maybe some of you will actually start posting comments!!!

Happy New Year!!

2006-01-02T07:46:00.000-06:00

I hope everyone had a happy new year. I didn't bring my camera with me for new year's eve....so no pics, but we all had a great time!! Hope you all did too!

Baby Pool - How many more 'Weeks'???
There are still available dates open for the baby pool. Below are the baby pool dates taken...if you aren't on the correct date, please let me know!

JAN
1...Steph

5...Dyer

6...Dyott

7...Dyer
8...Klump
9...Adler
10..Adler
12..Annie
13..Mel
14..AW
15...AW
16...Ben
17...Dyer
18...Klump

19...Steph
20...Jamie
22...Ben C
23...Josh C
25...Due Date
26...Jess
27...Jeremy
FEB
3...Louis
4...Vicki

"I have the eighth, right? But I also want the 18th if no one else has claimed it already. Come on Steph, winnner, winner, chicken dinner! "
Klump

Word Of The Day

Second floor of one-story office building discovered after 70 years...so it's a slow news day
Bartender tricks to curing a hangover
Wal-Mart employees slash prices, each other
Girl pays boyfriend $45 to replace headlight fluid, wonders why dad's upset
Compnay in China offers 144$ bounty every typographical or literary error in Chineese papers, Fark grammar nazis seen migrating in massive numbers
Congrats Leah...

Slow news day...

Word Of The Day

2005-12-29T12:48:00.000-06:00

Please Come Home For Christmas Concert

Last night a few of us went out to Nite Town for Lil' Band O' Gold's annual Christmas concert. I had never been to one of their performances, but was completely blown away. This was one of the best concerts I have ever been to in my life...

The LBOG is made up of several legendary performers from in and around Louisiana....

Steve Riley, Warren Storm, Sonny Landreuth, CC Adcock, David Egan, Lil' Buck Sinegal, Marc Broussard, Marcia Ball, Curley Taylor, Richard Comeaux, David Ransom, Dickie Landry, David Greely, Pat Breaux, and Zachary Richard were just a few of those on stage last night....

The 2 highlights of the night were Marc Broussard and Marcia Ball's rendition of 'Georgia On My Mind' and the entire group singing Randy Newman's 'Louisiana 1927'...

I decided not to bring the camera, but took a couple pics with the handy camera phone...these are the best of the bunch...

Lil' Buck Sinegal, Marc Broussard, and CC Adcock

Marc singing 'Georgia'

Steve Riley...

More Steve...(he's pretty:)

Terrible picture of CC Adcock and I...

WORD Of The Day

Smoking Gun's mug shots of the year. Winner invites us all over to his place for a bong and a blintz
Schoolteacher arrested, just for standing naked in the snow while smoking pot and claiming to be Jesus, then calling police officer "God" before hitting him in the head with a trumpet
Man gets car stuck in mud, puts toolbox on accelerator and gets out to push. Hilarity ensues
New Orleans fire officials worry New Year's fireworks could burn what's left of city to the ground
Dumb: Getting a DWI..... Dumber: Violating your probation by drinking one hour after you have been sentenced....Asinine: Choosing the bar where your judge is having lunch
Good news: Brain cells grow well into adulthood. Seventh shot of Jaeger surrenders

Baby Pool

Baby Pool Update:

Numbers unavailable for the baby pool are now January 6th, 8th, 9th, 10th, 13th, 14th, 15th, 16th, 17th, 18th, 22nd, 23rd, 24th, and the 26th...

and no Jess, it isn't fixed, she isn't planning on having a C-Section on the 14th...haha!

Word Of The Day

2005-12-28T11:51:00.000-06:00

It's Almost Over

So the holiday season and 2005 are almost over! Maybe I will get more sleep in 2006...

We decided to brave the comedy at 307 last night, again....and it actually worked out for us. The first few were uncomfortably bad, but the majority of the comics had us laughing hysterically!!!
After comedy night, we were transported to a wedding, or at least that is what the music sounded like, but I am pretty sure we were somewhere on Jefferson.
Look closely in the pics for Klump's 'James Brown'...

Tonight it's Marc Broussard...and I am sure I will have pics

Lacey, Jamie, Klump, and I...

He is doing the handjive...yes, he is!

Jamie, Jamie, and Klump

Klump & Jamie practicing for 'Star Search'...

I give you Mr. Brown....

Jamie & I at 307...

And Miss Hill...

The Jamie's....

Jamie A...

Ben & I...

Doing his best 'Blue Steel'...

Lacey, Jamie, Jamie, and Klump...

Baby Pool

Many of you know my sister Steph and know that she is soon expecting a bouncing bundle of baby boy joy. To make an exciting event more exciting we have started the 'Baby Pool'... very similiar to the football pools we all know and love.

So far the 6th, 8th, 9th, 14th, 15th, 17th, 22nd, and 23rd of January are taken. She is due on the 25th...
Call or email me if you want in...winner gets the pot:)

Word Of The Day

China's Hunan province scraps requirement that women applying for government jobs must have "symmetrically shaped breasts"
Big-screen Pac-Man movie confirmed. Promises return to edgier, grittier pellet muncher of 1980s. Walken sought to play Clyde
Several people with cameras and a news truck show up for possible mountain lion sighting, turns out to be just a very large tabby
Parents say it's okay to pose seminude for high school fundraiser if it's for a good cause
Schwarzenegger's name terminated from his hometown stadium for refusing to save Tookie Williams or find Sarah Connor
Woman who tried to swallow her cellphone during argument with boyfriend might not have done it voluntarily
What women really think about during sex
What do you do when you accidentally kill a friend in an argument? Make him into ravioli and share him with the neighbors, of course
Islamic judge blames last year's tsunami on women being evil whores

Happy Holidays....

2005-12-26T13:26:00.000-06:00

Like it's 1999...

(Nancy, Tanna, Me, Amber, Jayme, Mika, and Jeremy)

Last Friday night I met up with a few friends from high school for a mini-reunion. We started off at Zea's and moved the party to Pete's and eventually made our way outside the city limits so J.P.could show us all how to dance. We were even graced with a visit from Mr. Klump, whom actually received a round of applause for showing up after work.

We all had a great time and it was alot of fun to catch up with old friends... Looking forward to next December 23rd!!

Here are a few pics :
(Me, Jayme, JP, and Mika)

JP & Tanna

Nancy, Me, Jayme, JP, and Ms. Mika

Nancy, Tanna, Amber

(Probably laughing at Jeremy...)

All of us at Pete's...

Klump & JP at Pete's

Word Of The Day...

2005-12-20T10:01:00.000-06:00

Completly Random

Here are a few random pictures leftover from Stevie's 21st....rather than posting blackmail pics of my friends....I give you the last of the party pics!

WORD of the Day

I had no idea that God was so hateful....
Bush's approval rating shoots up to 47% following Iraq elections in latest story you're not hearing much about
Country of Nauru's only plane repossessed by U.S. bank
Stupid blogger...Teen who caused fatal car wreck surprised that admitting to guilt on his blog may be bad for his defense
Even the guys are crazy....Driver crashes his own car deliberately after being dumped by fiancée
Eminem and Dr. Dre used to torture Afghani detainees - now they've gone too far

I am actually pretty busy today, so that's all I've got!

Look forward to Klump's Corner tomorrow!!!

Word Of The Day...

2005-12-19T14:18:00.000-06:00

Got Stirrers???

Didn't take any pics this weekend, but promise that I will be carrying around my camera for the next few weeks festivities....we did test out the quality of the camera phone on blogger while having a few cocktails at Chili's on Friday.

Mmmm? Not so sure....

(Ashley, Adler, Shay)

Whit Is Afraid Of Heights!
If you know Whit, then you may think it is funny that he is terrified of heights....here he is confronting his fear while on a job in New Orleans!!! (Click on the pick so you can see the look of terror on his face)

Word Of The Day

King Kong was the #1 movie at the box office this weekend, despite having a less than stellar opening. Brokeback Mountain secured the #8 spot and was only playing on 69 screens (compared to 3,568 for King Kong)
Rolling Stone magazine names its Top 50 Records of 2005
"To the Pot Cave, Robin"
Iraq residents mightily upset that gas prices have risen to as high as 40 cents a gallon, and they're taking to the streets to protest...bastards
Poultry farm breeds giant breasted, cannibal Turkeys so fat, they need to be artificially inseminated and legs break under their own weight. Seconds anyone?
Man claims shooting his wife -- twice -- was purely accidental
Mexico City to implement "noche libre" on Christmas Eve, New Year's Eve. Basically, this means you can get plastered and drive around without getting arrested
Mob of drunken Santas tears through New Zealand city, throwing bottles, spraying graffiti, urinating on cars. Billy Bob Thornton unavailable for comment

Stevie Is Legal...

2005-12-16T08:50:00.000-06:00

Stephanie's 21st Birthday

My days of buying alcohol for my sister and her friends officially ended on Wednesday. We celebrated with a party at my parents house Thursday night...

Here are a few pics... and only a few of the elusive birthday girl...but her significant other rather enjoys being in front of the camera...

Klump's Corner...

2005-12-14T09:57:00.000-06:00

Goodbye Edie's Chicken Pie, Abdallas, Chris' Specials & Grant Street?
Klump eulogizes loss and tells 2005 to 'suck it'....

Grant St. Dancehall is closing. The last
scheduled show as advertised on their official website
is Christmas night. The curtain will fall, fat ladies
will sing and other cheesy metaphors will probably be
used. The creaky old wood-floored building that hosted
more than it’s fair share of talent will be demolished
in order to erect a pay-parking lot. It is sad to
admit that old school loyalty was sold out for new
school capitalism. Where the Hell am I suppose to go
now to see good live music? Club 410 and listen to
David Allan Coe play shitfaced for 30 minutes? No
thank you, I’ll pass. I could go to 307 and listen to
(insert random old singer and musician from New
Orleans). Or I could follow the smell of vomit and
stale beer to the Keg and possibly catch Kid Rock yell
his white trash, fake southern rock routine (he like
techno, also hails from Detroit) into his now
hepatitis C infested microphone.

Grant St. is (was) the essential place to play or
listen to great music. I would call it historical, but
Grant St. (the club itself, not the building) isn’t
much older than I and I am far from historical. One
could also argue that the cajundome will rise up and
possibly pick up some of Grant’s St.’s slack, but if
history has shown us anything, it won’t.
In 20 years, the cajundome has hosted many great arts and
crafts shows, Paul Simon, Kenny Rogers, The Eagles,
Stevie Wonder, George Strait, and Katrina evacuees.
That’s it. With only a five-year head start Grant St.
headlined 'Rock And Roll Hall of Famers' B.B. King,
Bonnie Rait, Ray Charles, Warren Zevon, Paul Simon,
Muddy Waters, Chuck Berry, John Lee Hooker and Gregg
Allman.

Not a bad pedigree. Grant St. also featured
little known acts such as Clifton Chenier, Stevie Ray
and Jimmie Vaughan (Double Trouble), Sonny Landerth,
311 (maybe Trux was there), Blues Traveler, Better
Than Ezra, Marcia Ball, The Weary Boys, Lyle Lovett,
Los Lobos, Edwin McCain, Eddie Money, Beau Jacque
(personal favorite), Keith Frank, Michael Juan Nunez,
Johnny Winter, Hootie and the Blowfish, Cowboy Mouth,
Zachary Richard, Dr. John, The Neville Brothers, WAR,
Bobby Blue Band, Geno Delafose, and even Keith Sweat,
yes that Keith Sweat. And I am sure I left out some
others. But did I mention Ray Freakin’ Charles played
there?!

In fact my favorite Grant St. story is about Ray
Charles as told to me by my old friend Paulie. Not
that I have know Paulie all that long, just about four
years, but in fact Paulie is old. Brother Ray was
jamming about on his piano, kicking his right leg up
with the rhythm as shaking his head back and forth,
cocked back with his signature dark shades on looking
almost into the stage lights with the rayettes
harmonizing in the background. As you can imagine,
even then old building was swaying with the over
capacity crowd singing along and stomping the
humidity-aided warped wooded floors until level again,
caught up in the moment and then suddenly Ray stops. Stops
playing, singing, head nodding, everything. And just
like a good congregation the audience stops as well.
Whispers and concerns hush over the crowd; no one
knows what’s going on. Brother Ray cocks his head as
if he hears something. Then flashes his always
brilliant grin almost subconsciously to the crowd and
says, “The train. I hear a train coming.” No other
sweaty body in the house hears a train, Ray is just
crazy, and that’s all. Forty-five seconds later the
unmistakable sound of a train whistle is heard and the
locomotive buzzes pass shaking the building yet again.
After all the commotion Ray starts back exactly where
he stopped playing, but not until he can no longer
hear the whistle.

You can’t make that stuff up. The
Cajundome’s entertainment equivalent to that would be
if the Cotton Candy Guy fell down the stairs, all of
them, in mid-cadence, “Hey, hey cotton-candy,
candy-app.. Ahhhhhhhhh!” Hilarious. But then again any
idiot can fall down a flight of stairs and it seems
any idiot can own a nightclub.

After only three years of ownership Don Kight, has
managed to raise ticket prices and plans to move the
legendary Hall out of city limits in order to stay
open after hours and plans to open a kitchen. He
stated in an interview with The Independent that in
more or less words that parking was a big issue. I can
only assume that restoration of the old building and
the price tag that comes along with it may also have a
little to do with it. Contrary to popular belief the
parking lot directly in front of the venue is not
owned or leased to the owner of the building. It is
owned by a New Orleans real estate company Historic
Restoration Inc. and they lease the parking area to
downtown restaurant Gumas, Which in turn hire security
guards to charge people $5 to park in the lot. What
kind of businessman leases a building and fails to
lease the lot that is connected to the freaking
building? Who is this guy’s lawyer, Lionel Hutz? It’s
hard to believe parking is the main reason for moving
or closing.

I think the owner of Grant St. had his mind made up
for quite some time now and is just waiting not to
renew his lease and wants to cash in elsewhere. But I
guess as they say, “that’s business” and unfortuntuly
it could also mean “history” for a not yet historic,
but legendary place to hear great live music.
Thank you Grant St.

That’s all I got.

Word Of The Day

2005-12-09T08:01:00.000-06:00

Word of the Day

Aaron Brooks threatens to leave the Saints....comments anyone?
You can lock your doors and not answer the phone, but there's little you can do when a hot air balloon filled with salesmen crashes in your backyard
Italian lawmakers to consider porn tax, but want to make certain they get the syntax right
Not weird: Stoners get craving for McDonald's apple pie. Weird: They crash pickup into drive-through, then try to steal apple pie -- with employees in full view
Iran's president suggests Holocaust didn't happen, but if it did, Israel should move to Europe

Not much news today....at all. Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Klump's Corner...

2005-12-07T12:47:00.000-06:00

'GO TO HELL TECHNO...GO TO HELL!'

Hello everyone.

Let me first apologize for my two-week hiatus, as if someone other than my mother even noticed. So here we go.

I hate Techno. I really, really do. How does this garbage ever find its way from its beginnings (probably from some European guy’s basement) into the mainstream? For those of you privileged enough not to know what Techno is, let me fill you in.

Techno is primarily made with synthesizers, repetitive drum kicks, bass lines, a few computer programs, and possibly some sort of witchcraft. Oh, and of course it usually has no words. Thus created for the sole purpose of making people dance. I read a quote that stated, “Techno, is music that sounds like technology.” Can someone please tell me how music can sound like the application of science? Were Bill Nye and Mr. Wizard closet techno-freaks? And since when can a noun be used to describe another noun?

I was at a bar (that shall remain nameless) last Friday that had a pretty damn good jukebox. As soon as I made my dazzling musical selections a DJ walked in and started played crappy techno-like music. I started to think I was at a rave. And I swear to whatever religious priory that is trendy this week, if I saw one person with glow-stick nun-chucks I was going to go crazy. Not 'Tootie' crazy, but clock tower, pantyhose-over-the-head, deer rifle, box of shells, target practice crazy.

However, I did see a guy wearing a tee shirt advertising his very own nun-chuck skills, but everyone made it home alive. And I don’t like to discrimnate, do your drugs, play with your non-toxic glow-sticks and walk around smelling like Halls mentho-lyptus that is all well and good. But white people dancing, scare me. Right there wedged between clowns and midgets. I know line dancing was invented so white people don’t feel left out at clubs and wedding receptions but this techno mess has to go.

Maybe Enimem was right when he said, “Nobody listens to techno.” But if you listen close many rap artist sample techno beats in their songs. Because God-forbid if a rap artist writes his or her own music, Biggie would roll over in his grave. So, by this rational without techno we wouldn’t be subject to such food innuendos as “Mix your milk with my cocoa puffs, milky, milky cocoa puffs”, or “My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.”, or “Shake that Laffy Taffy,that Laffy Taffy, that Laffy Taffy, that Jolly Rancher, Jolly Rancher.” How about “Whatcha gonna give me for that pork-chop?” Or the popular, “Tootsie Roll, just make that tootsie roll.” So thank you techno, for giving these masterful artist of the English language a rhythm in which to express their talents in way of song. Coincidently, I discovered,through extensive research (google) that like Slim Shady, techno was also born and bred in Detroit. So maybe techno is the Motown sound, regurgitated into something that makes me want to stick my head in a blender anytime I hear it. And isn’t Detroit famous for setting things on fire? Maybe this is their motivation.

Another similarity between the two types of noise is the art of sampling. Which is just a fancy word for 'stealing'. Sampling occurs when the artist in question isn’t talented enough to write lyrics (techno) and uses pre recorded beats from other accomplished artist and turns it into a giant shit-sandwich of sound. On the other hand, the case for the rappers...when they aren’t writing such lyrical gems such as, “All I wanna do is a zoom, zoom, zoom and a boom, boom just shake your rump” they usually write original and somewhat relatable lyrics.

But most song beats are sampled. Just to name a few, Hard Knock Life- Jay-Z, which was in the musical “Annie”. What a red-headed orphan and a rapper who is getting bootylicious with Beyonce Knowles have in common, I may never know. Kayne West’s“Gold Digger” samples Ray Charles’ song “I Got A Woman”. Brother Ray was blind and possibly strung out on heroin and wrote a pretty good song, I assume Mr.West cannot. Tone Loc’s “Funky Cold Medina” took guitar riffs from Foreigner’s “Hot Blooded”. Vanilla Ice (yes people, I went there) and “Ice, Ice Baby” sampled Queen/David Bowie’s “Under Pressure”. But I give credit where credit is due and Ice truly had “Rhymes like a chemical spill” and a cool haircut. Tupac sampled Bruce Hornsby’s “That’s Just The Way It Is” for his song “Changes”. I think Bruce is a Mormon and I know he played with The Grateful Dead, whatever he had in common with a guy that had 'Thug Life' tattooed on his back, once again I may never know. Eminem’s “Song For The Moment” samples Aerosmith’s“Dream On”. So I guess I come full circle. I could go on for hours. In fact through more in-depth research (wikipedia) I discovered most of Kanye West’s songs are just samples. So anyone one of us can idealistically be a rap star. And we have techno to thank for all of this. So, you go to Hell techno, you go straight to Hell!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MS. DEB!!!

2005-12-07T09:41:00.000-06:00

Happy Birthday Ms. Debbie!! I hope you have a great one...

Great News: Well, depending on your definition of great news, but I will be able to send pictures from my phone straight to the blog in a few weeks. Easier than carrying around a camera and I always have my phone. I am pretty excited....

I took my last final for the year yesteray!! One more semester, but not until January 17th!! So I promise I will post more and I know all 8 of you will comment more...I am expecting to post an article later today from Klump, but until then....

WORD of the Day

The Al Thagher Model School class of 1976 had a class reunion recently. Fifty people showed up, but they still don't know where their classmate Osama bin Laden is
In a poll of free nations worldwide, a majority nod approvingly at torture of bad people
"It's called Apophis. It's 390m wide. And it could hit Earth in 31 years time"
Five deer that managed to make their way up a five-story parking garage suddenly leap to their deaths. Pied Piper unavailable for comment
Nashville strip club exempt from three-foot rule since building is too narrow to keep customers that far away from strippers
It looks like Saddam Hussein has thought it over and now is not ready to be executed. Tells court to "go to hell" and refuses to play anymore
Bad: Having a stroke. Worse: Dying from a stroke because you pissed off the EMS workers, stole the ambulance and crashed

Stupid School....

2005-12-05T12:20:00.000-06:00

I have been so very busy with school that I haven't had time to post anything...fear not, this is the last week you all will be deprived because of school...only a few days left!!!

Party on Friday???
I think so!

Moving On...

2005-11-21T10:35:00.000-06:00

Well....this weekend marked the final Downtown Alive for the year. Unfortunately, I did not attend due to a prior engagement...so I will just do a photo montage of a few memorable evenings that were had... Moving on to bigger and better things and looking forward to next season...

I have included some pics ya'll have seen and some you haven't....

Have a great week and a Happy Thanksgiving!

PS. Klump (the lucky bastard) is actually in the Bahamas this week, so I don't think that we will be hearing from him this week for Klump's Corner...

And by the way....comments and comment wars are completly acceptable in my book! That goes for all 8 of you...

Klump's Corner...

2005-11-16T16:02:00.000-06:00

I love sports. Football, basketball, baseball, track and field, curling, super G, log rolling and all the "World’s Strongest Man" competitions. How can you not love a sport featuring an athlete named Magnus Veer Magnuson? I have always loved sports, but I have a newfound admiration for these events now that I view them on my 42-inch HD wide screen TV. Ohh it’s a picture of beauty. I love my big screen TV and I love sports.
My girlfriend however, does not.

During the month of October the eye rolling was at an all time high. She avg. 12.5 eye rolls and four blocked shots per game. I can remember one glorious Sunday in October. A day that couch commandos talk about for years. A day where the sixth sense every man is born with takes over and others just sit back (roll eyes) and watch. You guys know what I am talking about. The power to know exactly when to change the channel back to the game as soon as the commercial is over. Flip flopping through various sporting events. This has to be accomplished perfectly in order to achieve optimum viewing time.

This is how the day went. 10:30- NFL Countdown, 11:30- Fox NFL Sunday (in HD), Noon- Saints Game, 3:30- Nextel Cup NASCAR Race, 6:30- NFL Primetime, 7:00- NLCS and Sunday Night Football, at the same time(Picture in Picture). I was in the zone!

However, the bliss was short lived. The Fall Classic is over, NASCAR only has one race left and my channel surfing skills went the way of the Saints ability to stop the run, or the pass and most other things.

Through all this my better half has stayed strong and stood by my side. She watched a few games and only fell asleep through most of them. And she only complained as much as I would if I weren't watching football on Sunday. Slowly we are starting to compromise. I get my eight hours of sports on Sunday plus Monday Night Football. She gets an hour of “Desperate Housewives” and two "Sex and the Cities" a week. Sounds like an even trade. But for every additional “Sex in the City” I get 30 minutes of “Pardon the Interruption” (which she refers to as “TheYelling Show”) or another sports show of equal or lesser value. Like for example “Rome is Burning”,“Around the Horn” or “NFL’s Greatest Game’s”.

I really can’t complain. During “DesperateHousewives” I am banished to the bedroom with the dogcage and our God-forsaken 19 inch TV to watch 'Family Guy' with our dog, Maggie. She likes “Family Guy” I think she has the hots for Brian. And since “DesperateHousewives” finishes at 9 pm, that gives my big screen HD TV 23 hours to knock the estrogen out of its system before the 8 pm Monday Night Football kickoff.

But she has come around and I don’t think I give her enough credit (not Maggie, my girlfriend). She knows the Saints won the NFC west in 1991, she knows Icannot leave a game early, no matter what the score. She knows this because of the Cal/Stanford game of 82. You know, the one where the band was on the field. And I also yell “Cal/Stanford!” at her during the last two minutes of any game. But that’s not all. She also snickers every time Joe Theisman utters “penetration” and gets angry when John Madden repeats himself and states the obvious, over and over and over again. Occasionally she will pull out some surprises. She may ask, “Who’s playing?” I say, “Patriots/Colts” She says, “Oh” I grunt She says, “Flutie’s in, I guess Tom Brady is hurt. Didn’t he play college ball at BC?” I hand her the remote, pick my jaw up from the ground, slouch into the bedroom, lock myself in the dog kennel and weep tears of joy.

I am not worthy.

She also thinks I am crazy when I watch the postgame highlights of the game I just finished watching. I might have missed something. Remember, my channel surfing powers are in a slump. She also laughs when the retired NFL players review and act out certain plays on Sportscenter like some cheesy Rescue 911 re-enactment. Upon watching this I am mocked frivolously and bombarded with pity laughter when I try to defend the before mentioned re-enactments.

Of course the football season is half way over and after the Super Bowl comes college basketball championship week directly followed by March Madness. Where the same idioms apply just different cast. Then it will be Billy Packer and Jim Nantz speaking of penetration and instead of yelling, “Cal/Stanford” I will yell “Duke/Kentucky”.

I scream at television, she rolls eyes, falls asleep and we all live happily ever after. After my six hours of Sportscenter of course.

Picture Update

2005-11-14T13:42:00.000-06:00

Much thanks to Ms. Hill for sending these pics for all 8 of you to see...Most are from Cajuns Homecoming....Enjoy!

Cajun's Homecoming...

The newest addition to the Hill/Klump home is little Maggie May...

L.C. & Mr. Simon...

Teesha & Justin...
Jason & Jamie
Jason & Mr. Glen...

Maggie May, Mike, and I have no idea whom the girl holding the cigarette is...

Caption This...

2005-11-11T15:09:00.000-06:00

Klump's Corner...

2005-11-09T08:56:00.000-06:00

Hi everybody!

I was asked to write a weekly column on Ms. Ashley’s little blog. Of course I agreed. As before I will continue to leave my smart-ass remarks in the comment section of the news stories Ashley posts.

Years ago, (four) in possibly a drunken state (judging from the handwriting), I wrote a list of things I believe this world can do without. I will share some examples: Off road in-line skating, people who consider themselves "10’s", people that dress like their pets (or vise versa), men who don’t own a single tool, people that use Pig Latin on a daily basis, pagans who use bible quotes, anyone who wears a mesh tank-top, anyone who uses a Stairmaster and waits in line for an elevator, solar power cars, hair removal infomercials, people who actively use the metric system, strangers that correct punctuation, high energy clubs, any guy that won’t pee outside and anyone who wears sunvisors/sunglasses at night/indoors.

Of course, this is an abridged version and if anyone would like a transcript of the list in it’s entirety, e-mail me. A new addition to the list is people that take 'Texas Hold Em' way too seriously. You’ve seen these people, you know these people, you are related to these people, hell you might be these people. Usually large, hunched over, forever in dark
establishments after possibly cashing their FEMA checks. We have seen them on TV for the World Series Of Poker, Celebrity Poker, World Poker Tour, Poker Royale, Poker Superstars Invitational, Poker—Learn From The Pros, and for just $10.99 you can order Poke-Her For Idiots starring Luccia, Aria, and Brittney Skye, contact your local cable company or service provider. Well maybe not the last one.

For those of you who have no idea what I am talking about, let me set the scene for one of the many World Series(s) of Poker shown almost nightly. Dark room, large card table. Some asshole with a visor on, we will call him “dealer”. Small crowd watching(probably as part of some timesharing seminar). Five or six distinctly different looking people, all wearing sunglasses, sit around this table. There is always “Fat Guy”, who is sweating like a Baptist preacher and most likely sitting on a hemorrhoid cushion. Across from him is “Old Man”, old man won the world series of poker in 1938 and is older than indoor pluming. If he was any good at poker shouldn’t he have enough money to retire by now? The Old Man is usually smiling at the person sitting to his left “Token Female”. Token Female is almost always attractive and the cheesy-ass announcers refer to her numerous times as “River Queen”. She always “has something to prove” and once again the announcers comment on how much this is “A Man’s Game” and tons of other clichés (this goes on for hours). Across from Token Female sits “Angry Young Guy”. His demeanor is brash and style is unconventional. Angry Young Guy is never clean shaven and will refer to the friends he plays cards with in his mom’s basement as his “boyz”or “crew”. Throughout the entire program he somehow justifies professional gambling as a better life. Though he respects Old Man and Fat Guy, he never listens to their advice and he tries to flirt with Token Female. His failing flamboyant betting style is used to overcompensate his shrinking libido and it’s often referred to as his “low chipcount” by “crew”.

Sometimes there are appearances by “Foreign Guy” and “Nerdy Mathematical Guy” these are typical. But don’t watch for these outrageous characters, tune in for their hilarious antics. The preverbal “stand-up-from-chair-and-stair-down-the-next-card-dealt” maneuver. This is usually done when a contestant bets all of his or her chips (all in) and anxiously awaits the outcome. This is my favorite maneuver. But I don’t blame the folks who stand up, I only assume sitting for that long can only bring cramps and sterilization.

This nonsense is everywhere. TV, the Internet, even Wal-Mart. Yes I was in Wal-Mart and next to the really cool remote control cars, they have poker chips, books and all sorts of poker garbage, even some special poker sunglasses and visors. I Googled “Texas Hold Em” and only 12 million or so links came up (in 0.11 seconds of course).They even went as far as printing a major publication and ranked these professional gamblers. It’s called 'Bluff' magazine, and it offers power rankings. So if you follow the WSOP enough to where you need to keep up with 'Power Rankings' from a magazine that is basically named “Liar”, for God’s sake get help now!

Now imagine a game at your local wateringhole, or VFV hall. Same stereotypes may apply, but leave room in your recipe for an extra dose of Angry Young Guy and a dash of Dumb College Guy. And since this is a local game of amateurs merely imitating professionals, you can multiply the antics and unsavory characters 10 fold. So the problem is these people take 'hold em' way too seriously and it’s full of assholes that wear visors and sunglasses at night or inside. Which coincidently are both on my beforementioned list.

Now it all comes full circle, so I guess now it’s my problem.

I wish I were in a drunken state, although Louisiana is probably good enough.

That’s All I Got
Klump

"Kinda makes me feel like riverdancing..."

2005-11-07T16:43:00.000-06:00

So I don't know what the truth to this is, but in my experience sequels are never as good as the original....

Wait, isn't that a line in a move?

New Orleans...

2005-11-04T08:13:00.000-06:00

Hi Everyone...
I received this link to Nine Inch Nails Website. They took a trip to New Orleans on 10/28 and have posted pictures of the Lower 9th and the levee breach site to their website....rather interesting/disturbing to see what parts of the city look like.

Click here to take a look...

Klump's Corner...

2005-11-02T13:13:00.000-06:00

In response to the 'Word Of The Day' dated November 1, 2005
Posted November 2, 2005 from J. Klump...

Hi Everyone!
I think Mel Gibson and Tom Cruise should collaborate for a movie so it can be called "Freaking bat-shit crazy". I am curious though will the Jews kill the Myans in this movie too. And then maybe Tina Turner can come out in some S&M get up and sing "We Don't Need Another Hero" before Mad Max and some disfigured giant can fight to the death in the thunderdome, or Myan temple, or whatever. But if this really was sequel to Passion of the Christ, it should be called, "Passion 2; Jesus Walks" and as JC moves the giant rock from his tomb that Kayne West song plays in the background. That would be cool.

Moving on...Who cares about Canada's Navy anyway or their submarines. Doesn't Canada have the largest coastline of any country in the entire world? But who cares ...it's Canada, America's hat!

And about the Judge who let the old man go for selling crack because the old man told him he was using his drug money to buy his wife cancer meds. Who buys crack from a 74 year old man anyway? That is some creppy shit. I wonder if he was buying marijuana for his wife with the money from selling the crack? Did he buy the Mary-Jane from another old man? Is there a like an old person drug ring going on? I think about these things.

And about the guy who set fire to the police station and blamed it on soccer or "futbol" for all you non-americans. I only have one thing to say. "Gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool!"
That's all I got!
Klump

I'm a brand new blog...

2005-11-01T15:48:00.000-06:00

A new week(s)...a new look for Southern Speak. I even have a snappy little banner ad....if you click on it, I think I get 1/16th of a cent....so start clicking and the drinks will be on me!!!
Hope all 8 of you like it!!

(The only pic I have this week...

Jess, Ben, and I, playing pool last week)

Word Of The Day

Mel Gibson's next movie will be spoken entirely in Mayan; fans anxiously await "Passion of the Christ 2: Yucatecan Boogaloo"
Canada's last working submarine catches fire. No word on the status of its screen door, glass bottom
Crack dealer, 74, avoids jail after telling the judge he used his profits to buy cancer meds for his wife
Man sets fire to police station, blames soccer
Strippers becoming a hot-button political issue in Canada, according to recent brass polls
Dyslexic postal worker hides 5,000 letters in her house because she couldn't address read the

Friday Yet?

2005-10-24T12:30:00.000-05:00

Dave & Ms. Jamie @ 307

Jamie & I at 307...
Derek Zoolander...

(I see drunk people...)

Please exuse the no-caption pics ...Blogger is becoming un user friendly. Once I figure out what is up...the blogging will be more frequent

I had a pretty quiet weekend and used any good movie or wedding shower as an excuse to not do homework. A few of us went downtown on Friday...fun night. Great bands at Chris' and 307...

On the agenda for this week is L'Angelus on Thursday(10/27) night at Rhythms on the River, Friday is Downtown Live featuring Michael Juan Nunez & The Bone Shakas, which starts at 5:30pm and Saturday is UL Homecoming.

Word Of The Day

A "very hot" woman flashing her stud neighbor...sounds hot until you learn their combined age is 149
Good: White barber honest enough to admit that he can't cut black people's hair. Bad: He places a sign that says "WHITES ONLY" out at the street (BE PROUD! THIS IS A LOCAL IDIOT MAKING NATIONAL NEWS)
Homeland Security grant goes to keeping terrorists out of Kentucky bingo halls
Bush to announce next chairman of Federal Reserve today. Rumors suggest it's going to be Harvey, the H&R Block guy from Midland who used to do his taxes
U.S. credit card industry is in revolt. Unfortunately, it's not the kind of revolt that will end with credit-card company executives' heads stuck on poles outside their burning headquarters
150 Floridians arrested with DUIs demand to see source code of breathalyzers...drunks unite
Gas prices drop $.25. Dick Cheney clutches chest
Wal-Mart now stocking doctors at a couple of their stores
No matter how much some of your co-workers might enjoy it, you can't come to work drunk and start flashing your breasts(warning: quirky british lingo alert)
Wilma and Alpha may assemble to form larger storm. Projected name: Hurricane Voltron

So Wrong...

2005-10-14T10:27:00.000-05:00

Required Reading..."Searching For Camel Toads"

Caption It...

2005-10-12T01:05:00.000-05:00

Hurricane Katrina Survival Kit... (see picture to follow)

Mustard.............................................check Cheetos.............................................check
Toilet Paper........................................check
Bud Light...........................................check
Keystone Ice........................................check Budweiser...........................................check
Red Dog.............................................check
Misc. other bottles of alcohol......................check
Piece of plywood to float your chick and booze on...check

Next time let's all be a little more prepared.

Sneaky Water...

2005-10-10T12:29:00.001-05:00

Last Friday we went to Down Town Alive, for out of towners it is an outdoor concert series in the ever expanding downtown Lafayette, Louisiana area. It is also an excuse for every motorcycle enthusiast to show off his or her 'bling'...

It can get pretty rowdy and usually the segue between an afternoon concert and partying like a rock star until 2am...becomes invisible.

Noteworthy, only because it would be the first official 'buzz' I have had since I was able to drink again...and I had a great time! I would like to thank the good people at Coors Light of Golden, Colorado for making it all possible and whomever suggested that I suddenly begin a strenuous regimen of Ketel One Lemondrops, thanks...it was fabulous, but I won't be doing that again for a while.

Victoria Beckham is a gene-yus...

(borrowed from PinkIsTheNewBlog)

Word Of The Day

If that Hummer is draining your cash at the gas pump, Neiman Marcus Group Inc. has the perfect holiday gift: A fuel-efficient, $3.5 million "Skycar" that flies 350 miles per hour and burns environmentally friendly alcohol.
County commissioner from Oregon engaged in battle over real estate with local tribe says "Nothing against Indians, but they are stealing our land.”
Experimental Russian spacecraft missing, may have been taken by aliens as evidence in upcoming copyright infringement case
Latest optional extra on mosquitos: glowing testicles
New doggy-friendly VW models come with built-in water dish, doggy seat belts, anti-smell blankets and glove compartment/kennel for small dogs
Belgian children left sobbing after seeing smurfs massacred by warplanes on the evening news
Karma...Karma...Karma...Karma...Karma Chameleon....they found my blow...they found my blow
County Sheriff buys an $18,000 surplus British military armored personnel carrier to patrol the Arizona - Mexico border
Botanists monitoring Britain's rarest tree apparently not monitoring it closely enough as it's gone missing
College football team plays double-header, wins both. That's right, "football"
You can stop holding your breath now...the world famous boyband 'Take That' is planning on reuniting

Caption This...

2005-10-07T10:46:00.000-05:00

BIG FYI...& The Word Of The Day

2005-10-07T07:58:00.000-05:00

For those of you whom aren't aware...Jason Klump returned home from Iraq several weeks ago. Jason has been enjoying the freedom of sitting in his underwear and watching "The Price Is Right" on his new big screen TV and he is happy to have his very own bathroom.

I realize some of you were not notified and I didn't post it because I was very busy with school and work. Big apology to anyone whom wasn't notified...

Post your welcome home comments in the 'Post Comments' section and I will make sure they are posted where Jason can see and respond to them....

WORD Of The Day

Christian charity sends film about Jesus to all primary schools in Britain after little boy asks why Mary and Joseph named their kid after a swear word
Alabama haunted house attraction forced to change name from "Slag's Insane Asylum" to "Slag's Un-ending Nightmare" to placate PC police. Zombies now to be referred to as "living impaired"
"Your eyes are too big for your little tummy"...Python consumes Alligator and explodes...SEE PICS!!!
Gas station accidentally sells premium gas for 32 cents a gallon. Traffic jam ensues
Immigration officials expedite Martha Stewart's application to enter Canada so she can row a 600-lb pumpkin across a lake
Kinda spiffy...72-year-old man selling items he collected as a batboy for the NY Yankees
Student: "By not allowing me to wear Kool-aid red hair, you are stifling my creativity.

School board: Welcome to the real world

Under new legislation, California taxpayers will no longer pay for Viagra for convicted sex offenders. Key words in this headline: "No longer"
Man, tired of paying child support, sends an imposter to take his court-ordered paternity test. Hilarity ensues

Klump sent his thoughts on the previous post...

I think they should have a "buddy Jesus" for all those rap guys who praise God when their songs about bitches and ho's win a video music award on MTV. Who else is feeling me on this?"">

Dogma Funny

2005-10-06T15:02:00.000-05:00
This gave me a laugh...almost on par with George Carlin's 'Buddy Christ'

Goodbye Chicken Pie...

2005-10-05T14:32:00.000-05:00
That's right...
Next month, one of the best places for lunch in Lafayette will be shutting thier doors for good. No more pot pies, no more fried chicken, no more pork roast on Wednesday's...

Edie's is closing up shop due to a rent hike. By the grace of God...the biscuit place will stay open on Bendel Road...R.I.P. Catfish with Etoufee'...I'll be missing you!

And to make my week even worse...on November 1st a downtown establishment that is 'As Fresh As New Orleans' will be shutting it down as well. Chris' Poboys will be leaving downtown for good. No rent hike here though...it just seems that a shift in management will be moving the staff to the Pinhook Store. Seriously...if one of there stores needed closing...wouldn't the one that is in the gas station on Ambassador Caffery be worth sacrificing...not the only one that pops into your head when you think of 'Chris' Special'. November is turning out to be a sad month already...

Another Manic Monday...

2005-10-03T23:54:00.000-05:00

Friday night we went to Down Town Alive. We saw a few good bands play, but it was HOTTT! We went to visit my sister at Chris’ and it felt like a sauna, but that always seems to happen in a building with a good zydeco band playing. We then went to Antlers and then made an early night of it by going home at 1am. It is weird being able to drink again and I have to admit that beer just doesn’t go down the way it used to.Maybe I need to quit beer and find another drink of choice...I am taking suggestions!

On Saturday we went to the game. Often times, I have more fun tailgating than I do at the actual game. The Cajuns lost, but it was an exciting game.
I watched an American football game last night. 49ers and the Cardinals...I emphasize "American" because the game was played in Mexico City and upon the completion of the game...an American football player began running up and down the field with none other than...the Mexican flag? I understand that this is just the NFL's way of reaching out to a bankable Spanish audience( I guess since American kids quit wearing Starter jackets)...being as Mexico City has a population of over 20 million, but the ESPN's telecasters attempts to speak "the Spanish" was a little embarrasing...
Word Of The Day
This one is for you Whit…Armed and dangerous "CIA Trained Killer Dolphins” let loose into Gulf by Hurricane Katrina! Flipper's puttin the smack down bitches…
“A man dressed like a doctor and driving a stolen ambulance with a long-dead deer inside was being held in North Carolina for a psychiatric evaluation.” You cannot make this stuff up…again thanks Whit!
What do a chick flick, bikini wax and a brain freeze have in common? They're among the new additions to Merriam Webster's Collegiate Dictionary
Germans invent something much more apt than nicotine patches. Nicotine beer
Study finds that when they aren't scaring the crap out of them, clowns are effective at calming toddlers down before surgery…tell Jason Klump that
Man punches police horses, is dismayed to find they are members of the force just like the two-legged variety
Courthouse evacuated after attorney tries to enter firecracker as evidence
Police inquiry rules that shooting of naked man was justified, since he was armed with mechanical lubricant
Right-wingers increasingly resemble their obnoxious counterparts on the Left, demand a "College Bill of Rights" to protect their feelings from being hurt

Rita

2005-09-22T13:36:00.001-05:00
So...here we are...another hurricane. The lovely Rita. As if Katrina didn't do enough to the eastern half of Louisiana last month...Rita is here to finish the west side off. Wish us luck!!!!

Word Of The Day...
Perspective and discussion of Rita's impacts on Gulf Oil Production. Great info, lots of pics, charts, predictions all consolidated in one place
Group from MIT invents something cool -- rope that can tell you when it's fraying
Scientists study "Cheerio Effect" -- AKA why floating pieces of cereal clump together in milk. Still no cure for cancer
Tiger Woods doesn't appreciate it when caddies wear a "Tiger Who?" cap, or when random dorks say "for shizzle" to him
President Bush started drinking after Katrina hit
Man receives ransom note for his kidnapped dog along with a bag of poop. "It looked like my dog's poop, but I'm not a dog-poop analyst"

Where In The World...?

2005-09-15T19:43:00.000-05:00
Where in the world is this man?

Look for him in the days to come...

Interesting...

2005-09-02T09:24:00.000-05:00
Check this article out...

Some Good News...

2005-09-02T08:03:00.000-05:00
I know it doesn't overshadow the entire situation, but some good news is that Fats Domino was found alive in New Orleans...

He was identified in a picture seen by his daughter, but no word from him yet...Read the article here...

Hurricane Katrina Affects Us All...

2005-09-01T14:10:00.000-05:00
Contact Red Cross to make a donation if possible. Be specific when making your donation and declare it for Katrina victims...

So, we were not hit too hard by Hurricane Katrina, but the aftermath is affecting Lafayette more than I could have ever imagined.The cell phone situation is ridiculous and the internet is down in alot of places. But we are so fortunate...even Baton Rouge is struggling.
I noticed there are more cars on the road and lots of people walking on major thouroughfairs. Also, I noticed that people are sleeping in their vehicles at gas stations and that traffic is completly chaotic.

Today. I actually saw what looked to be an entire family sleeping on the ground around a bus bench.

So yeah, maybe I am sheltered....maybe I have grown up in a town that doesn't have alot of crime and homeless aren't on display unless you go to a 'certain' area of town.

People are homeless. I wish I could bring them all home with me. I wish that I could give them all a pillow, blanket and some rice and gravy. I feel kinda helpless. I am actually thinking of renting my house out to storm victims becuase I feel like I am being selfish by moving into a three bedroom house with my sister when there are people whom had really nice homes and now have nothing...

There are rumors that peole are getting robbed and that there is looting going on even here. It is really scary. The sheriff just said (on the radio) that women need to travel in groups around town (especially after dark), people need to start locking doors and that gunshops are being robbed. I don't know how truthful these reports are, but I can't help being a little apprehensive.

Update

2005-09-01T03:13:00.000-05:00
Word Of The Day

More and more news keeps coming in. Mayor Nagin of New Orleans stays while the ship continues to sink and issues a chilling "SOS"...states "we are out of resources!" Charity hospital, without windows or air conditioning, cannot evacuate due to sniper gunfire.

There are so many stories about ambulances being overturned and highjacked, for need of generators. We don't know what is true and what is not anymore...every news center contradicts its opposer (fox/cnn)..they all say different things.

Here are a few things to enlighten or educate...

Soldier gives update from New Orleans on his own blog...
Mayor Nagin issues cry for help...
Ain't that a shame...Fats Domino missing in New Orleans.
7-11 U.S. to be bought out by 7-11 Japan, become 770-1210 at current exchange rate
Oh...here comes the calvary. Stars gather together (in a group of 4) to help with hurricane help...not quite on par with tsunami help, but hey...
One would think that a woman who was just arrested for flashing her boobies would have the common sense not to go Full Monty in the backseat of the police cruiser

Hurricane Katrina...

2005-08-30T18:36:00.000-05:00
Sorry I haven't been able to post recently, but school started.

New Orleans & a large portion of Louisiana, Mississippi & Albama were slammed yesterday by Hurricane Katrina...

Please pray for our friends & family's safety throughout this catastrophic situation...

If you are local and want to help, read this email

Due to Hurricane Katrina, the Cajun Dome and Blackham
Coliseum are being used as local shelters for the evacuees and the animals
of the evacuees. Donations needed for the Cajun Dome are foam mattresses,
sleeping bags, towels, linens, baby items, wet wipes, and non-perishable
items. Donations needed for the Coliseum would be any type of kennel or
crate to help maintain the animals. All donations that are brought to the
Coliseum will be inventoried to be returned after they have been used.
Donations can be dropped off at the Zoo of Acadiana or I will collect things at
the North Shop and bring it daily. For more information about the
shelters, you can contact Janessa Dubois at 280-0124 (Cajun Dome) or Marian
Webber at 288-4500 (Blackham Coliseum). Thanks for your efforts

HOO WAA!

2005-08-19T10:47:00.000-05:00
Word of the day...
(first article actually made me laugh out loud)
Kentucky man gets everything he wants from his chickens: Food, eggs and reproduction
Pilot and engineers fly for two hours not noticing half of one wing has been blown off (with pic)...oh crap!
More proof that the term "Greatest hits" for an album title has lost all meaning: Toy Soldiers: The Best of Martika
California truly the home of entertainment: an Arnold Schwarzenegger vs. Robin Williams gubernatorial election may be in the making...
Wow...Police officer accused of ordering woman to flash him and another to "do a little dance" without panties.
OH GOOD GOD!!!!Meet the man who's had 30 plastic surgeries to look like a human "Ken" doll. With pics and video goodness
"Hip-hop" researcher called in to testify in defence of student expelled for his rap lyrics. So while there might not be a cure for cancer, there are such things as "hip-hop researchers"
People of New Orleans so frightened of retaliation that police tested them by arbitrarily firing 700 blank rounds in a single afternoon and nobody called to report the gunfire
Vermont fishermen see legendary giant fish in lake, claim beer had nothing to do with it
South African drivers most aggressively incompetent in the world. Article writer clearly has never visited Lafayette

Caption This...

2005-08-18T10:34:00.000-05:00

No More Cowbell....

2005-08-17T11:04:00.000-05:00
I guess it was too good to be true.

According to Christopher Walken's publicist, the site announcing that he'll be seeking the U.S. presidency in 2008 is a hoax. His rep told Entertainment Tonight on Monday that the site is "100% not true," adding "[It] sounds like someone got a little too excited over his role as secretary of the Treasury in 'The Wedding Crashers' and now they want to make him president."

Saying I'm disappointed wouldn't be fair to my emotions. A more appropriate description would be to say that I'm so furious with rage that I murdered a Starbucks employee when he couldn't tell me who was responsible for the hoax and refused to bribe Christopher Walken into actually running for the Presidency. Plus, he totally screwed up my caramel macchiato and that's not okay.

As quoted by The Superficial...

Who Needs More Cowbell?

2005-08-15T09:45:00.000-05:00

Hope everyone had a great weekend...mine was, um...OK.
Went to the new racetrack on Friday with Sister, Boyfriend, and Dyer...
I perfected the art of betting on horses by picking the one with the prettiest socks and the jockey that weighs the least

...this is the proven method for winning. I won a few times too, but towards the end of the night my power to pick THE horse to win had deteriorated to nothing. It takes alot out of me...It would have helped if I could have had a cocktail though:)

Worked on the house Saturday. You remember, the house I bought back in June and still haven't moved into. Yea...that's the one. I heard a rumor that the Sister and I are supposed to move in this weekend. We will see...

I did get a laugh out of the news today... I mean picture it:

America's Next President!!
Campaign Slogan: "America Needs More Cowbell"
Campaign Song: "Weapon of Choice" Fatboy Slim

As president of the United States of America....YES!!!

WORD of the day...
I want to live in a world where the President of the United States is Christopher Walken. It might end civilization as we know it, but imagine the President saying to the British Prime Minister, "I've got a fever, and the only cure is more cowbell."
Explanation to Secret Service from man who fired shotgun into the air near Bush’s ranch: "This is Texas"
Japanese PM apologizes for World War II invasions of neighbouring countries, seen searching for appropriate Hallmark card
Put one down for the woman's movement...the President and first lady hire the first female White House chef
The Slinky is still sassy at 60...still doesn't need a cane to walk down stairs
2005's Marine of the Year comes up with his own way to clear out the drunken nightclub revelers outside his window...
Archaeologists on the verge of finding sixty ancient ships sunk in the battle of the Aegates Islands more than 2 000 years ago...
Police hard at work check strip clubs more frequently than other bars. To uhh, you know, get tips on crime, and uhh you know, check for illegal gambling, and uhh you know, "other violations". Yeah, yeah, that's it...

Word from Baghdad...

2005-08-10T11:39:00.000-05:00
A note from...Hey Everybody

Sorry I have been such a bastard when it comes to posting, but most of you hardly ever post anything so I really have nothing to be ashamed of.

Been kinda busy, but not too bad. I have been having trouble with my internet at certain times and my patience just gets the better of me.I sent Ashley some pictures recently so those should be up shortly. One of them is an unfattering likness of myself and prime example that someone that doesn't speak the same language as you should not be allowed to cut your hair. I know usually we can communicate with hand signals, but what is the international hand signal for, "#2 fade, and leave a little on the top"? Does anyone know?
Well all three of you will see in the short future. I will comment on the news later becasue I know all of you can't wait to hear what I have to think. As for now I am off to bed.

Oh another note, my brother Ryan, was picked-up for speeding and other various reasons and charges by Lafayette's Finest. If anyone shall read this and see him, please feel free to slap him upside his head and make fun of him. Thank you.

More to come,Klump

P.S. Ash, thank you for posting the 307 pictures, and to the lovely ms. Jamie for taking the pictures, they came out great.

Mr. Klump & Ms. Hill
This is an old picture of my good friend, Hugh Hefner and his buddy Steve Lyons....Hey!Where are the bunnies, Hugh?
Josh Boney & Hef, I mean Klump sitting on a truck...

I have no words...none, at all...

Word Of The Day...

2005-08-08T20:33:00.000-05:00

Hi Everyone!
I haven't received any news from Jason K. lately...I think it is still on for returning home mid-September.Looking forward to his safe return home...

So, I have been very busy, but promise to post more often. I will be a better blogger...I swear! If you have any funny/interesting pics that I could share with all 3 of my readers, please send them to me at ashley.weeks@gmail.com...

Word Of The Day
Wheels on the ground. Welcome home, Discovery
Grammy-winning singer Marc Cohn shot in the head in Denver. Amazingly, he'll still be able to go 'Walking in Memphis'
DJ beaten for playing too much "gay music"
Two teenage boys suspended from school after visiting brothel during field trip
Harry Potter books have become favourite reading material among terrorist suspects at Guantanamo
Get ready for that call from mom and dad at 5:00 a.m. complaining that their VCR isn't recording correctly: Congress has extended daylight savings time
Man drives off without wife realizes six hours later, just assumed he had gone deaf...
Ninety-nine-pound woman wins yet another eating contest by downing 35 bratwursts in 10 minutes...
Minivan bought at police auction has 100 pounds of pot inside

"YOUR MY BOY BLUE!!!!"

2005-08-07T21:40:00.000-05:00
I have been a little behind on posting, but here are a few pictures from our fieldtrip to Club 307 right before Klump went back to Iraq...

Jamie & Klump
Mr. Aaron...
Dyott & Mr. Conque
My cousin Michelle & I...
Dave, Klump, and I...
Dave & Klump...
Aaron & Klump...

I'm going crazy...

2005-08-03T15:27:00.000-05:00
For some reason I can't post pics and that is what I want to post. I have no idea why, but I am hoping and waiting that I can blog again. I have some pretty good pics, so check back later...

Bzzzzzz!

2005-07-29T11:37:00.000-05:00

You just have to kinda laugh...

Operation Iraquai Freedom

2005-07-26T19:57:00.000-05:00
We had fun in New Orleans this weekend. Well, as much fun in New Orleans when you can't drink and don't gamble very much. I won $100 while trying to kill time at one of those video poker machines at a bar.

We stayed at the W. If you ever go to New Orleans....check out the W. When I was walking into the hotel Busta Rhymes & lady friend were walking out the door. Out concierge told us that Missy Elliot was staying above us & he said she is NOT fine. Just in case you were wondering. He was pretty funny.

Anyway, the hotel rocked...the House of Blues is pretty cool. We went to Cafe' du Monde for beignets & coffee and we ate at Mother's. Also, when you are in New Orleans, you must go to Mother's (soooo gooood)!

So, the concert was pretty good. No, it was awesome. We were with Mel & Jeremy and he much prefers, I don't know, Lil Jon or Poison and Dyott likes Pink Floyd, Rush,and techno so they were just kinda hanging in there for all the "chick music".
But I really liked the concert. Racheal Yamagata opened, which is a travesty, for a guy whom is completely interchangeable with Bob Seger, seriously.

Anyway, I got a note from Klump. Now if you know me...you probably know Klump and if you know Klump you probably know his good buddy Dave. Dave had an interesting experience a few days ago while helping to liberate Iraquis and connect them to the world via the internet.

Klump & Dave...

The following story was sent to me by Jason....

hey ash,
I heard a funny story from Dave the other night and I wanted
to share it will all of your readers, and to keep me from re-telling the story
10 times.

OK, for those of you who don't know my good buddy Dave, he works with me
over here. We do communications work for the army (FM radios, sat com,
Internet,phones, carrier pigeons, two can's and a string. Anything that can be
used as a means of communications) and help out the Iraqi army whenever we can.

Well Dave's been working directly with the Iraqis for about three weeks now. Getting their computers and phones set up and such. Now this is just one of many funny stories, this is just the shortest. The thing about Iraqis, they are resourceful, to a fault. After running wire all day for a phone system, he was alerted the next day that it wasn't working. Of course being the
man that he is, taking great pride in his work, Dave was troubled by this. So he returned to "walk the line" as we call it, to look for damages and splices. Well he found that some locals cut the line and removed parts of it for their personal use. For binding things down, tying people up or for whatever else you
are not suppose to use 16 gauge wire for. So he spend the better part of that day fixing it.

Dave, now doing double work instead of the scheduled work that he planned for the day. What he had planned to do was wire up the Iraqi General's computer and Internet service to his building, thus giving his officers a chance
to upgrade their communication status and send them well on their way to becoming a more professional and effective fighting force for its nations people. So running out of daylight, Dave worked as fast as he could to get the building wired up, but it was getting late and he was hungry so he decided to
call it a day and finish up soldiers.

They insisted they needed their computers be hooked up to the domain so they start working that very night. So Dave saw how badly these men wanted to work and get the computers operational so he goes against conventional wisdom
and works a few hours more so he can help these fellow soldiers out.

Upon completion, he goes into the building to log the computers on to the network. Each Iraqi soldier in that office (three,I think) all had their own faces as the desktop on their respective computer, and replied in very, very broken English, "See, this my computer. That is me".

So Dave laughs it off and says, "OK, it will work now"(and gives the universal \'thumbs up\' sign). So then the soldier, the same one that hounded Dave to get the network operational so he can work through the night demands (again in very broken English), "OK, now, show me girl!" And then in better English start requesting nude websites they want to look at. Dave finally
realizes he worked all day and even a little overtime so Iraqi Soldiers can watch the Paris Hilton tape andother various naked photographs. Dave said one of them started shouting out the number 89 repeatedly, and they started giddy and excited. I will let your curiosity and imagination figure out what 89 is. For
you slow readers, stoners, drunks, adolescents,Quakers and perverts that can't figure it out go to http://www.blogger.com/ , but be
warned.

So Dave laughs it off because if any US soldier gets caught doing what the Iraqi's are doing on a government computer UCMJ (uniform code of Military Justice) action will be brought upon you, to include deduction in rank, loss of pay and a bunch of people thinking you are a perv. But they are just glad they didn't get caught because our lovely systems administrators
(bigbrother, not the TV show) use a web filter that filters out such dangerous and offensive material by blocking keywords like, "sports", "adult content", "streamingmedia", "advertisements" and "nudity".

I could understand if the department of defense is running aday care center. Adult content, come on this is crazy.I remember back in Kuwait when we were bitching about the 130 degree heat someone saying, "stop bitching, we are
all adults here". Guess not.

Oh, and to get off the point for a second. All the news stories about it getting up to 120 degrees in the American southwest make me want to scream. You chose to live in the desert, stop crying about it, you don't like the heat,then move.

God it must have been a slow news day.
Anyway, back to the story. So the Iraqi General is so pleased that Dave got his computer system and network running so quickly, he invites Dave to join in for lunch. Truly a great honor. As for Dave, he thinks they ate Dog because they killed eight of them the previous day, and killed no cows. But of course not
putting two and two together until many hours later.

So to sum it all up, Dave worked overtime so the Iraqi Soldiers can look at porn, got the blessing of an Iraqi General and possibly ate Lassie. And of course for all of you wondering yes, this is based ona true story.

How could anyone not love this country?More to come!Klump

Also an interesting side note. To let everyone in on just some of the ignorance we deal with everyday serving in the Army. Before we left Ft. Hood, our company ordered unit t-shirts that had our brigade mascot on the back (a stupid tiger),and this scribed on the front left side.

Operation Iraquai Freedom just like that, we truly are special people.

Word of the Day
Eighty-year-old man takes electric wheelchair out for a spin... on the autobahn
Two women charged with DUI for pushing their disabled car while intoxicated
Having things blown up in your country improves your approval rating. Here comes the political science
I think this could be a bad omen...cameras capture Discovery colliding with bird immediately after takeoff (photo)
Amish teen arrested after callers complain of loud music coming from his buggy
Dolphins RB Ricky Williams apologizes to fans, teammates for hastily retiring last year; says he was high at the time
Two Florida men sentenced for selling $4 million worth of fake equipment to the Department of Defense. On the plus side, American troops in Iraq are equipped with the best Super Soakers money can buy
"Everyone at work wanted to see it and hold it," says man of his newly enormous endowment

Good Friday...

2005-07-22T22:19:00.000-05:00

Not to beat the crap out of a cliche', but TGIF!
Hope everyone is doing well. I would like to say Happy Birthday to my good friend Jeremy Hull....we will be going to New Orleans tommorow for casino/Bourbon maddness/debauchery and then we will be going to the House of Blues on Sunday to see one of my favorites, Racheal Yamagata. YAY!!! If you haven't heard of her, visit her website to listen to some of her music...

Anyway, more stories will be posted and I have more pics, but first
The Word of The Day
"Yes, I'll admit that I'm a fool for you, Because you're mine, I walk the line." Klump & I are SOOO excited about this...!
Magazine company discovers sure-fire way to sell out at the news stands: Offer a free sex session to all buyers
Twins hauled into court after authorities can't figure out which one committed the crime
Man who scammed 18 restaurants by pretending to have a heart attack when it came time to pay the tab is released from jail. He's returning to the small town where he pulled his scams to "look for a restaurant job"
Russians immune to HIV due to mutant gene. Professor X not avaliable for comment
Hurricane Emily forces tourists to cram into shelter, and man to put his hand down shorts (with pic)
Salt Lake City has found a new source of revenue -- growing marijuana in city flowerbeds
Don't trust your wife? No problem -- just nail all the windows shut, deadbolt the doors from the outside and cancel her cell phone service
East African man offers 20 head of cattle and 40 goats to marry Chelsea Clinton
That is all I have for now....be back soon with picks!

The Buffalo Theory...

2005-07-21T00:40:00.000-05:00

Hi Everyone!

Sorry for the lack of posts! I have actually been quite busy with my new house, but I will post the Word of the Day later today. I had completed another segment of my vacation diary and due to unfortunate circumstances...it was erased. All 3000 words.

Yeah...pretty frustrating!

Speed traps in Iraq...

2005-07-14T23:48:00.000-05:00
Hello Everybody,

I would like to share a story about the BS I have to put up with everyday, enjoy!

So I was driving home from work last night around 2300 (11:00pm) and about 20 yds before I park my vehicle for the night, I notice a white explorer type vehicle behind me with police lights on. You know that feeling when you first see the lights in your rear view mirror, you know the feeling in your stomach, the nerverousness, and thanking God you didn't have an open container. Yeah, well I felt none of those feelings, it's a freaking MP for crying out loud.

So I stop the truck and get out, so does the MP (military policeman) and here is how the convsertation went:

Me: Good evening.
MP: Evening Sarge.
Me: what's up?
MP: You got your ID, Sarge?
Me: Here you go (hands ID)
MP: Where you heading?
Me: Home, just got off work.
MP: Sarge, you were going 55. . .
Me: Sure was.MP: In a 15.
Me: Oh, well you know it wasn't that fast.
MP: Yes, infact your ice chest fell out the back ofthe truck after you hit the second speed bump.
Me: Yeah, well that's not mine anyways.
MP: What unit you in?
Me: (told him my unit and other info) Meanwhile he goes to his truck and searches aroundfor like 10 minutes and then he says this.
MP: Well sarge, it's your lucky day.
Me: Really. (not amused)
MP: Well this isn't my truck and I can't find my ticket book.
Me: Cool, this happen often?
MP: Yes, it actually does. (not amused)

Then he askes me some questions to confirm the unit I am in and he said if he runs into my 1st Sgt. or my commander,he would have to tell them I was doing four times the speed limit.

Me: Alright then, have a good one.
MP: Hey sarge?
Me: Yeah
MP: You gonna slow down right, sarge?
Me: you betcha, thanks.

Things I learned from my encounter:

1. We have speed limits on base. I was speeding (I guess) on a two lane starightaway in the middle of the night. This was neither of the following A: school zone
B: A crosswalk (student crossing, cattlecrossing, railroad crossing etc.)
C: A construction zone.

2.) I didn't know speeding was this widespread of a problem. I thought a democratic goverment, electricty,and health care were. I guess I am wrong.

3.) Iraq still sucks.

That's all I got
Klump

Note from Klump!

2005-07-14T21:07:00.000-05:00

Hey Everybody!
Jayme, great to hear from you and glad you are doing well. Your parents tried to contact me when I was on leave a month ago but I was already on my way back overseas. But I will pay them a visit upon my perment return. And it is great to hear you are doing well. When I read the MacGyver story, I was at work and I laughed out loud. So of course everyone wanted to why I was laughing. So I told them the story and the people in my section that know me pretty well just sort of chuckled and chalked it up to "abnormal Klump-like behavor", but those who really didn't know me gave me the same look they usually give me after I tell a crazy story, the famed astonished look. But anyway, hope to hear from you again soon.

And go ahead Mika, I am sure you are proud and congrats.

Ash, I am enjoying the stories and pictures from your vacation. But saddend to hear your capt. Ron was sans an eye patch and no parrot either. It really is heartbreaking when real life is just a dissapointment compared to the stereotypes hollywood delivers to us, thus setting our standards of enjoyment way out of our grasp. So anyway, keep on with the stories. You might pick up a few more readers.

Now, on to the news!

The stupid bank teller story, this is what happens when the criminals are smarter than the tellers. These criminals should quit while they are ahead. But who knows, maybe they did have a gun, but they will get little sympathy from me, where I work everyone has a gun.

About the guy that was supposed dead, it is quite strange, and he is off the hook. It's real f-ed up that he would put his kids and wife through all that. But my question is, why was he living in Idaho? Of all the places to defect and start a new life he chose Idaho? Was he Napolean Dyamite, and Uncle Rico practicing some sweet jumps? This guy is an idiot, for a number of reasons. He didn't even change his name!

About Mariah Carey's clothes flying off. How come you never hear of someone who is not famous or not on tv clothes flying off. And clothes cannot malfunction, they have no moving parts. Well maybe a zipper or something. This bitch is still crazy.

I am confused about the barcelona story. If he is the president, why was he made to walk through a metal dector? Secondly, did barcelona defect from Spain? I didn't even know it was a country. Then I thought maybe it was just a typo, you know "president" instead of "resident", but the same reads on the caption. Then he is apolgizing to his fans? Who the hell are his fans? Those crazy europeans. Bottom line, if this happens anywhere in the US, the shoe throwing in all, mofo is getting hit with a taser from someone who just graduated from the airports taser shooting school. This is all every confusing.

The Christian Exdous story is quite possibly the dumbest thing I have read since Dynetics, by L. Ron Hubbard. Moving more right winged christians to South Carolina, will help about as much as sending more Communist to Cuba. They should also read the constutition, the part about church and state and whatnot. It is illegal to join church and state, but these people clearly prove that it's not illegal to be idiots.

And horses can't vomit, ain't that some crazy shit!
Klump

Life is good...

2005-07-13T12:45:00.000-05:00
Rather lengthy blog this evening...Following these pics is vacation diary, Word of the day, and a note from Klump...for all 3 of my readers.

Here are pictures from vacation with actual people in them. So no, I did not just take random pictures of some tropical paradise and post em. I share with you some of my family & friends. My mom is the skilled individual behind these pics and a few of Dyott & I just didn't make the cut because she has a habit of putting her finger over the lense. Nice...

So here is our patriarch...I think he has been into the Martinis at this point...

Little Suzie...

And here is Dyer...also into the alcohol at this point. I think my parents and Dyer were hanging at the Pier on this day...
So the only group picture of some of the kids and autofocus isn't in mom's vocabulary...Clockwise from left is Steph, Dyer is hiding behind her hand, Nate, Heather, Danny, Amanda, and Me
Nate & Heather...very cool couple came to meet us from Tampa & Huntsville
View from the house...

My sister Amanda and her boyfriend Danny...
Yep! This is the only time any of you will EVER see me in a bathing suit. I show you this pic because this was my favorite part of vacation. That is Amanda behind me...

So this isn't the best pic of my mom, but it's a great pic nontheless. That is Mick on the right...

When not studying meteorology...Steph practices her other hobby
Mr. Danny...

Another day in paradise...

2005-07-12T21:54:00.000-05:00
First, I would like to send congrats to Micah L. whom gave birth to another little baby boy! His name is Ian Job...

I decided after several positive comments about my vacation diary entry to continue on with it...so today, for all 3 of my readers, I have another diary entry, a letter from Jason Klump and a few more pics from vacation...

Enjoy!

Wednesday

So…it’s Wednesday. It is deep-sea fishing expedition day. I have never ventured out on an excursion such as this, which is sad considering I live in what is considered to be “Sportsman’s Paradise”, as advertised by most Louisiana license plates. Dyer & Dyott are sent to wake up “The Weeks Sisters”(as they affectionately refer to us) which to them seems to be some arduous task comparable to taming hungry Lyons. With much poking, prodding and strong coffee we awake and prepare to become fisherman.

Once we get to the dock we find Captain Ron - the commissioner of our great journey and discover that he has neither a patch nor a parrot, as most great seaman should. I am not sure what I was expecting, but when I heard the name “Captain Ron” images of Long John Silver & Captain Hook popped into my very imaginative mind. This was not the case and Captain Ron was not excited about fishing with us. Apparently some high-pressure system, due to impending Hurricane Dennis, was making fishing miserable for everyone.

We leave the pier and head home. Steph & I aren’t too disappointed, but Dyott & Dyer have fallen into a deep depression, which is only consolable by eating all 8 of the PB & J’s we had prepared for lunch. They still aren’t happy and decide that they must find something with a motor to rent. They find a boat rental place in the phone book and set it up.

By this time, Stephanie, Amanda, and I are watching The Weather Channel and eating pancakes. We would have been fine hanging out by the pool all day, but the boys and parents convince us that we have until Saturday for that. So we go to the dock, again, and get onto a much smaller boat. Once we get out of the harbor, the skipper (Dad) hands over the boat to his little buddy (Dyer). Dyer treats the driving of the boat as though he were at Aladdin’s Castle. It may have just felt that way to Steph & I because we decided to go to sleep on the front of the boat.

Once we get out to the ocean we tie up to a lighthouse. At this point Stephanie & I have mysteriously developed motion sickness. Suddenly, the pancakes I had for breakfast have come to the forefront of my mind. They are all I can think about and I don’t really like thinking about them. So here we are…everyone is snorkeling and Stephanie and I are hanging our heads off the side of a boat. Lovely.

The guys decide that we should get to solid ground, at least for a while. So Dyott instructs the skipper to a key that has become a state park. It is called Indian Key and Steph & I had already flung our bodies down onto the dock before Skipper had a chance to tie the boat to the dock. There we lay…in our bathing suits, on a pier hotter than an outhouse in the middle of the desert. We don’t care. Dyott tries to get us to walk 20 feet to a covered pavilion, but to no avail we continue to lay there with our heads hanging off the pier.

Next, I wake up. I have no clue as to how long I have been asleep, but judging from the substantial amount of drool being produced by my sister, I think it could have been a while. I wander onto this island to look for my party and unbeknownst to me, take the tour. I discover that settlers lived on the island until 1840, when Indians massacred them. I guess that lookout tower in the middle of the island was less about functionality and more of a bookend. I didn’t feel too bad for the settlers though…I learned that the settlers had canons on the far side of the island and would shoot at ships and then ransack and sink them. Educational summer vacation…check!

So, now that I have taken the nickel tour I find Dyott & Dyer apparently searching for some type of sour fruit that is indigenous to the island. (Australian Accent: “It’s rather sour and many can be deadly, let’s try it!” Just joking) I decide to check on Steph, make sure she has not fallen off the pier. I stroll out to the place I left her and find a rather large pelican staring rather curiously at my sleeping sister. He looked rather randy and not at all afraid of all five and one half feet of me, but he flies off rather nonchalantly anyway. I didn’t’ wake her because I figured she would try to bring Mr. Pelican home.

Next, we depart from the safe haven of the non-moving island and sit in the bay so everyone can snorkel. Steph & I are sitting on the boat with Dyer because for no apparent reason she & I are scared of water. Everything is peachy until we here our non-expletive speaking father pop his head out of the water and drop a loud ass F-Bomb. We think it was possibly just the wind or he must have cut himself on something. Then we hear THAT word. He says the word that we fear, the word that is the reason we are scared of water, the word that has had 500 movies made about it and the word that has been making snacks out of Florida coast tourists, as of late.

That’s right. Shark. And I know what some people say. “They won’t hurt you, they leave people alone, yada yada”, but would you want your mom, dad, and boyfriend/girlfriend swimming around with one that is 6 feet in length and rather heavy in the girth department. It scared the crap out of pops because he is blind in his right eye and he realized that Mr. Shark was circling around him and he hadn’t noticed because of his blind side. He jumped back onto the boat after calmly moving towards the boat and slowly dragging my mother (she probably looked like lunch), whom was lying with her feet in the water on a raft. Lovely.

After that, it was time to turn in the boat. Time flies. Actually, all of this happened over a period of 7 hours. It was fun though…being seasick, scary sharks, randy pelicans and all.

We get back to the house and Stephanie starts to watch more Weather Channel. If you haven’t noticed, little Steph has a quiet love for the Weather Channel. That stupid hurricane Dennis looks like he could become a problem and Stephanie actually stands up in front of the TV and explains to us all the pressure systems of the eastern and western Gulf of Mexico. She then proceeds to explain the exact trajectory of the hurricane due to said pressure systems. She predicts somewhere around Destin. Keep in mind that at this point, the hurricane is still very south of Cuba and this is my 20-year-old sister that wants to invent the “Refridga-wave” a microwave that will make things cold instead of hot…. Yeah, I know.

More later…

WORD of the Day!
Stupid: Crooks using bank's drive-up window, sending holdup note through tube.
Asinine: Teller sending $56,000 back to them

Married father of three thought to have drowned over 10 years ago found alive and well in Idaho

The only thing sadder than a "wardrobe malfunction" that sparks national outrage is a calculated one in which even the performer's fans don't care

And it runs in the family…

Brazilian boobie bandits steal more than 400 silicone breast implants…

Barcelona president apologizes for stripping down to underwear after airport security scanners went off three times. In retrospect, putting a cucumber wrapped in aluminum foil down his pants wasn't such a great idea…

Why you should never tell your wife/girlfriend she has a big ol booty…

Religious group unfamiliar with history tells members to move to South Carolina in order to create an extreme far-right theocracy, with secession as an ultimate goal…No Kidding.

Notes from the hot ass desert…

Hey everybody,
Well welcome back Ashley, we all missed the blog. I say we because I assume more than one person reads this. Although on one would never know it because no one ever leaves any comments, but alas, I will leave some smart-ass remarks for two-day-old news stories. At least I don't have to worry about offending anyone.
Ok, This Anderson Cooper guy, do we really need this guy on the tv. Yes, we know hurricanes are windy, as the preverbal pair of palm trees sway in the background. Water still wet, sky still blue, pope still catholic. Thank you Anderson Cooper, thank you.
The snake dies of a priest bit article, well I just skimmed over it. I lost interest when I saw the metric system being used and a mention of India and no mention of a rib-eye steak. I love me some red meat!
The "French maid" service is hardly a public disturbance, but if that was the 20th time they have been caught, what is taking so long? And God knows, it is only ok to perform those "services" if one has a license or a permit, so taxes can be paid on them. This is stupid. "We will leave your junk polished" is a funny quote though.
I knew who was responsible for Stonehenge all this time, same people responsible for crop circles, global warming and the boy band popularity of the late 90's, the aliens. Wasn't that in an episode of the X-files? And really who cares they are FREAKING ROCKS! Kids in preschool stack blocks all the time, this is stupid, moving on.
I am happy to see Morgan Freeman do something in film other than always being that one cop that was like, "I've been on the force for 27 years, and never in my time have I seen anything like this" pan to close up and his on screen partner looks at him in amazement. It is as predictable as Samuel L. Jackson being the loud pissed off black man, in every movie. And James Earl Jones did Darth Vader and the CNN commercials, he isn't hurting any.
The fishless lake story, I swear everyone is lazy, read the article. Bunch of hippies, who cares if they are fish in the lake or not, they are all probably vegetarians anyways. Choke on tofu hippies, and get a job. About the Saturn and ice flowing from it's volcanoes story. Scientist can tell us the temp of icy lava on one of Saturn's moon, still no cure for cancer. But, yeah Saturn, moon, space stuff real important. I would like to know how much money we blow on NASA a year.
Anyway that's all I got, if you agree, disagree or if you are a dirty jobless hippy, let me know here. No, wait, no one reads this.Klump --

Vacation is over...

2005-07-10T21:45:00.000-05:00
I am an idiot & forgot my camera so thanks Nate & Danny for sending the pics!! These are a few pictures from my vacation in Islamorada, Florida...

Back from vacation...
So yes, I am back. I am not sure if i want to vacation anymore. It only serves as a reminder that life is not, in fact, a Corrona commerical.
Tuesday
Jason & I arrived at my parents house in Islamorada on Tuesday and decided to join everyone at the pool (which was actually a bigass hot-tub). My parents were sleeping in a hammock and Stephanie was chasing her dog around and trying to stop him from eating hermit crabs. Dyer was hungover (b/c he drank a bottle of Grey Goose)and not very sociable so Jason and I went out onto the ocean on a kyack. It was fun until we realized that it was low tide and only about 6 inches of water so he decided to drag my big "Queen of Sheeba" ass 300 yards out to sea on a kyack ( I did offer to help). Once we were out on the high sea, he started pointing out all of the beautiful sealife (sponges) and the glorious flora (seaweed). We stumbled upon what I thought was a very special sponge that looked like an Aztec Temple, but turned out to be a lobster trap. Suddenly and without warning, Dyott turns into the Australian Crocodile hunter...he jumps into the water and picks up the entire trap, opens it and proceeds to try to catch a lobster. Picture it people, (Australian accent and all)..."this is the willy little Florida lobster, different from the Maine lobster because it doesn't have claws!! Instead it has these spiny little thorn like defense devices on it's tail. They will pop in the face of a predator...oh, look...I am bleeding". O.K., he didn't do the accent or say that they were "willy", but all of the others were the words coming out of his mouth.
So while I wait for him to finish playing with the lobsters, I decide to try to lay down on the kayak and get some sun (to those of you whom know that I am not supposed to BE in the sun, I will be explaining later). Suddenly Jason screams like a little bitch with a skinned knee and drops the trap, jumps on the kyack and says very calmly "eel". I freak. I am scared of water and the things in it...I want the safety of the pool again. I have some type of ferocious spaz attack and do what? I flip the kyack with our towels and shoes and drinks in it. I landed on a big sponge and start freaking out because I think it is the Eel and I have been attacked and I will die. While I am flailing around...sure that the Eel will kill me and I will soon drown and that Jason must have been attacked too, I look up and see Jason standing in 3 feet of water and probably wondering if I have lost my mind. Jury is still out...
Everyone helped with dinner. Billy, Dyer, and Dyott grilled steak and fish while Stephanie made Kool Aid in a grip bottle of Crown Royal...We ate out in the tiki hut...it kicked ass!
More to come...Wednesday involved Pan Cakes and Pelicans!
The WORD of the Day
It appears that everyone from the Comeaux class of ’99 has walked the plank…I mean down the aisle!!! And who sent this to me anyway…?
You know, you can put cameras out there and record the magnitude of a storm without sticking Anderson Cooper on a balcony... telling us how much flying sand hurts when it's hitting you at 135 mph"
Snake dies of priest bite...
Town officials move to shut down maid service that they claim is a front for prostitution. Company slogan "We'll leave your junk polished" apparently inappropriate…
Stonehenge mystery solved…
Is Morgan Freeman the only person that narrates movies anymore? Did James Earl Jones just quit?
Local fishermen turn out to be actors hired by the government to cover up a fishless lake…
In further evidence that Saturn is bizarro world, their moons' volcanos shoot ice, not fire…
I will only being saying this one time... If breasts make you sick or you are in any way offended by breasts do not look it this link…

Gone Fishin...

2005-07-01T22:40:00.000-05:00

Hi Everyone!!
I have been busy this week preparing for my vacation. I will be on vacation in Islamorada until July 11th. Have a happy 4th of July & I hope everyone is safe during the holiday weekend...

Word Of The Day...

2005-06-24T02:20:00.000-05:00
Must thank the good folks at blogger for making it alot easier for me to post and edit pictures! Yay!

Still no pics from Klump, but I will definitely have some on Monday because we are supposed to see this really cool band at Club 307 tonight. They are called L'Angelus , which is French for "The Partridge Family"...

(the middle sister looks like Hillary Swank) We saw them before Klump went to Iraq and they kicked ass...
If you haven't noticed...I have added a new feature to my sidebar, Daily Useless Trivia. Those of you whom know me know that I am filled with useless knowledge and so here on the blog I will share more of it with you!!!Today's trivia is rather disturbing...

Anyhoo....
The Word Of The Day...
How long do you think you will live...take this test to find out. I will be 77!!!
Man uncovers the economic secrets of white collar crime using the most powerful analytical tool of all:bagels
City works crews blow off some steam by painting crosswalks wherever they feel like it
If you are into the "Fantastic Four", click here for a ten minute trailer
How to make $220,000 without leaving the comfort of your prison cell...
Japanese robot guards to patrol shops and offices and also will spy on Sarah Connor...
After 21 years of high performance marks, female bartender fired for not wearing makeup. Her base allegations will make you blush...
Bund. Jim Bund. British bartender pretends to be spy, tells people they're in significant danger, and then takes their money...
Father of suspect in Natalee Holloway case arrested. There are currently only three people in Aruba not under arrest...
Boat owner attempts to put 262 gallons of fuel in a 200-gallon fuel tank. Hilarity ensues ...see photos!
73-year-old Kenyan kills leopard barehanded by pulling its tongue out...um, true man of genius...?

Word Of The Day...

2005-06-22T20:43:00.000-05:00
Hello....Jason says he will send me pics of his vacation in Lafayette and Florida. So as soon as I get those I will post them...I have seen a couple and they are pretty funny...!

Word Of The Day
Lafayette, Louisiana follows big city trends and last night voted to ban smoking....(in places where people don't smoke anyway!). Damnit!! Now I can't light up in Wal-Mart!!!
Man caught having "flagrante delicto" explains that he was actually sent by Lucifer....Violated ovine just pissed he never called!!!
Mercury, Venus and Saturn are converging for a spectacular close encounter this weekend, but it will just end in tears and accusations...
Notorius B I G case finally goes to trial, which can only mean one thing... Another posthumous hip-hop album!!!
Wife gets sweet revenge on flirting husband by selling expesive sports car on Ebay for less than $1. Suprisingly it sold really fast...
Japan pissed that the world won't let it hunt more whales... cites urgent need for more secret ingredients for Iron Chef!
Freak wombat accident leaves two men and their car balancing on a tree...
Man wakes up with a really bad headache and bullet in his tongue...
Police arrive to investigate your noisy hotel party.
Do you:
A) apologize and promise to keep it down?
B) leave the premises as requested? Or
C) kick the cop in the groin?
Treehuggers upset that trees are being cut down to rebuild homes for hundreds of thousands left homeless by tsunami...
CEO of cosmicsoft (a 17-year-old high school student) has clients on five continents...
More To Come!!! Comments & Suggestions on news stories are appreciated!!!

Word Of The Day...

2005-06-16T01:16:00.000-05:00
Not too much going on this week. I think alot of people are pretty tired out from this past weekend and lo and behold another weekend is already upon us...This week has flown by ....not something I have a problem with!

Agenda for this weekend:
nothing

yay!

And now for...

The Word Of The Day
Having solved all other problems, city government in Franklin, Tennessee seeks to ban garage doors...
5th in line to the Norwegian thrown, born in April, named after Star Wars character...thank God she isn't Princess Chewbacca!!!
UT-Austin names new stem cell research center after Willie Nelson. First order of business will focus on improving "joints"...
Three former college students sue Hooters Air, claiming airline was their idea from class project...
Police respond to emergency call by smashing in front door after getting no response from inside the home. Call had been made by the family cat...
"Dumbass of the Year!!" award goes to the man whom tried to rob beauty school -- and gets beat down by 30 women with curling irons...(and guess which state this took place in???)
Who needs enemies? Man sentenced to 27 months of jail after getting bright idea to shave friend, paint him green so he looked like 'Shrek'...
Good God...Cheerleaders ARE be-otches!!
Man -- found sitting on a bench naked -- tells cops "I was hot." Not as hot as the marijuana in his backpack...
Please keep this in mind when making travel arrangements people!!Northwest Airlines to shut down an engine on flights to save money
Irony....Guess whom led the FBI investigation into finding out the identity of "Deepthrought"?
Woman's body kept on life support in effort to deliver baby...very sad
Coast Guard tows shark-infested whale carcass into swimming area to see what happens when you do that...

Word Of The Day...

2005-06-15T20:40:00.000-05:00
Here are a few pics that Ms. Jamie-Lynn took this weekend at the Luau...if you or anyone you know also has a few pics, please send them in...Thanks!!

I will have more up later this week...

Mama Debbie welcoming home Jason!!How sweet...
.

Jamie & Jason...
.

Ashley & Jason Dyott at the Luau...
.

"I don't remember how to drive!!!"
.

Whit & Jamie with the beer-goggles on!!!
.

"I like to play with my eyes closed..."
.

Jamie the ballerina...
.

Joe & Deb...
.

Foster, Justin, Klump, and Ryan at the Luau...
.

Whit and his very nice lady friend, Heather (I think...)
.

Word Of The Day...
Engineering students show how to make your own A/C for $30

McDonalds is in trouble...Teens find summer jobs as online gamblers.

"We kindly ask that you not do floating somersaults while giving your testimony, sir"

People are just crazy! 300lb man refuses police help and causes a boat to sink...

Every parents worst nightmare! A drunk, registered sex-offender ice cream man...

The Prince of Pop website equates "not guilty" verdict with the release of Nelson Mandela and fall of Berlin Wall. What a modest fellow...

How nice...Everytime you flush the toilet, a male fish changes gender

College football QB calls himself God to police. Finds out God is vulnerable to pepper spray, too

I'm baaaa-aaaaaaacck!!!

2005-06-13T21:26:00.000-05:00
Hi Everyone..
I have been super busy actually doing work lately, but I am back with pics from this weekends homecoming Luau for Jason and also The Word Of The Day...

I think this weekend was a success. Everyone seemed to have a great time. I was paid a visit by a bitch of migraine and missed out on alot of the festivities because I was laying in the back office at Joe's with the lights off, but I hear that everyone got a little festive. I am happy that Jason is home and very happy that everyone got to reunite this weekend for a very emotional homecoming/hula hoop competition!

These pics were sent to me by Dawn S. Luau extravaganza participant and loyal Southernspeak reader. I will update throughout the week with more pics from the party & if you have some please send them so everyone can observe the strange south Louisiana ritual consumption of hand grenades...

Dave & Klump...Glad to be out of the desert and close to a cooler full of Hand-Grenades!!!
.

This would be our Luau guest of honor & yours truly...
.

Kerry & Justin Henderson, it seems everyone likes Steph's hand-grenades
.

Kerry & Klump...quite festive!
.

Dyer & I
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Klump & his mama!!
.

This is Justin Henderson & female friend...I think her name may be Taysha and she is the Joe's Place Champion of the Hula Hoop!!
.

Klump & Friends!!!Very late & very festive...
.

Stephanie is about to read Joey a bedtime story...
.

This is Dawn, my little sis Steph & once again, Southernspeak reporter Ashley W !!
.

Word of the day...

Good God!! Was there crack in the snowball??

WOOOO-HOOOOO!!!

Wow....they have been doing this to us "non-terrorists" for years!!!

Caveman returns home after 40 years to look for fire...

Coldplays song "Yellow" is really about the phone book

Exuse me while I kiss the sky! Jimi Hendrix's boyhood home saved from demolition, to be converted into museum and youth center

Romanian authorities call ghostbusters to get mischievous spirit from their buildings. Vigo the Carpathian wanted for questioning...

Mother gives 6 & 12 year old $5 and tells them to move out! Wow...And I got mad when my mom wouldn't give me money for the ice cream truck!!

Colorodo governor talks smack about Minnesota state quarter..Minnesota governor demands that they meet up later behind the stadium!

Nursing home worker fired for giving elderly patient an unsolicited lap dance

It's not just for Ben Stiller or Vince Vaughn...Green Bay Packers get ready for NFL season by playing dodge ball...

Hilarity continues...Thief keeps stealing taxicabs and charging passengers for rides

Chapelle meets with Comedy Central about his show. Turns out he wasn't in South Africa, he was in witness protection, hiding from Wayne Brady

Word Of The Day...

2005-05-31T21:05:00.000-05:00
Seriously Slow News Day
WORD of the day...
Lindbergh reveals his 33-hour solo flight to Europe was in fact, just a booty call
If you build a 38-pound burger, they will come
Next time someone tries to tell you something about what will happen to your social security... Show them the real numbers
The Russians are rewriting their history books to feature a kinder, gentler text
Woman resolves conflict with neighbor by :
A) ignoring her
B) sitting down and talking with her about it
C) calling police, or
D) gathering a mob, dragging her from her house, beating her, stripping off her clothes and tying her to a pillar
Microsoft will be fined $5 million per day for being late, Blockbuster not amused
New Orleans' death rate of 11,453 people so far this year is "really not that bad"
Man proves he is thoughtful AND prepared by obtaining all necessary permits before having himself crucified...
Trucker who misplaced his entire truck tells police that armed men stopped him and MADE him drink two bottles of liquor...
Indiana Jones 4 approved by Lucas, Spielberg is waiting for Harrison to read script...
The dark side of biodiesel

Who Is Ready For A (Don)Hoe-Down???

2005-05-31T20:49:00.000-05:00
I hope everyone is getting ready for the big welcome home on June 11th for Jason!! Remember - coconut bras, grass skirts and/or Hawaiian shirts are a must!!
Jason sent a little note to everyone this weekend....
Free Food and Coconut bras, how can anyone not go? I know I am gonna be
there. I hear it's gonna be the best coming home party ever.Hope to see you
all there.
Klump

2005-05-27T22:54:00.000-05:00

WELCOME HOME JASON KLUMP!!!

Join Us For A Welcome Home Luau …

When: Saturday June 11th, 2005
4pm – 2am

Where: Joe’s Place
3103 W Pinhook Rd

Admission: you must be wearing a Hawaiian shirt, a grass skirt and/or a coconut bra…at Klump’s request of course!

We will have drink specials and free food
WE HOPE TO SEE YOU THERE!!!

Word Of The Day...

2005-05-25T22:28:00.000-05:00
Word Of The Day

Plane dissappears minutes after takeoff...
No happy ending for the runaway bride, grand jury indicts Jennifer Wilbanks on felony charge...ouch!
Would you like to purchase a few submarines, not in the greatest condition, but with a little under the hood work will be good as new. Call the Canadian Government.
College professor calls religious believers “moral retards,” compares religion to oppressive regimes
Man decides to take a break out of the sun under his truck. On a beach. High tide ensues...
Rare set of identical quadruplets born; expected to appear in Playboy in 2023
U.S. continues pressuring Japan to accept beef after 17-month embargo. If negotiations fail, America may consider slipping them some roofies
Blackbeard's loot being hauled from the murky depths... ARRR...
Tobacco store employee raises eyebrow, giggles with revenge when customer attempts to pay for purchase with employee's own stolen check. Muhuhahaha ensues...
Surprisingly, the hot Russian chick you were emailing isn't really who she says she is, and the money you sent her wasn't really for "very expensive medicines to support her condition are necessary"
Sheep saves farmer's life. June wedding likely
What do you do if you're a parent upset over the treatment of your children by other students?
A) Talk you your child's teachers.
B) Confront the children.
C) Ram your minivan into the front of the school bus
Police on the lookout for man who was running around downtown naked except for a Zorro mask
In today's detached finger news, drunken man sleeping on railroad tracks bites off finger of woman trying to rescue him
I could continue on forever...

Funny Story

2005-05-25T22:04:00.000-05:00

I Heard A Funny Story.

If you aren't from around South Louisiana you must understand that most of the guys that work in this area are in the oilfield and there are a phonebook full of oilfield and oilfield related companies in the area.

Many of these companies have company apartments that guys whom live out of town share when they are in. Well, last week one of my friends, we shall call him "M" , tells me that they had quite an interesting day at work. One of the guys staying in a company apartment calls headquarters (in Houston) to say that he has found drug paraphenalia (i.e. a bong) in one of the company apartments.

M tells me that it is standard procedure to put the entire office and staff on premises on lockdown to drug test everyone, including 3rd parties whom happen to be on the property.

So, the drug testing starts and the cops are sent over to the company apartment to check all of the apartments and confiscate any drug or drug paraphenalia. The cops go up to the apartment that had the bong complaint and guess what they found there...I'll give you a hint, it's not a bong and Austin Powers had a "Swedish" one

Email me if you don't get it...I just thought that was kinda amusing.What is even more funny is that they got the corporate headquarters in Houston involved all for someone's "Mega-Vac 3000"! Hysterical!

Word Of The Day...From Jason Klump!!

2005-05-20T13:36:00.000-05:00
Hey Everybody

All is good here in Iraq, except the fact that I am still here. And it is as hot as gorillia titty milk. But it looks like I should be home in about 21 or 22 days.

I guess the LSU vs UL flamewar is over. I can assume who was the winner but I just might be trying to "front". And speaking of LSU, did anyone else hear about a Tiger football player that was arrested when he was caught smuggling steroids across the mexican border? I can't make this stuff up.

Anyway, on to the news. ..
I have never been to Camboida, never had a reason not to go. I do now.

It is true, the locomotion comes to a screeching halt. Kinda sad. At least her ass is ok.

About the colorado man being fired for drinking coors light. First of all, coors light is nasty, but he is in Colorado. So I guess when in Rome, do as the Romans do. And secondly, it just goes to show you, never turn down a free beer, EVER!. He is so gonna sue the pants off this company, and unless he has Lionel Hutz as his lawyer, he will get paid, a lot.

How in the Hell did a camel end up in West Virgina? Those things smell just as bad as some of the people do here.

I guess I have to scratch off Tanzania and Cambodia off of my list of places to visit. Skin! Come on people.

The two chicks fighting outside the club in England. That was kinda hot. But trashy all at the same time. In America these kinds of people usually don't stray too far from the piggly wiggly and the trailer park. But kudos for the nudity in England's newspapers.

About the teacher/father beating the coach with a baseball bat. Was that the only bat at practice. Did none of the other players have bats? If I am getting beat down with a bat, I hope someone would pick up, oh say another bat maybe and try to get the attacker away from me. I swear people are getting dumber by the second. And the asst. coach who called the cops. Good job buddy, I am sure the head coach didn't mind being a human pinata for a few more moments while you were all chatty with the 911 operator. Idiot! Gosh!

The pregnant catholic schoolgirl. This is just stupid. Live in the now people. This isn't the 1950's. I think I have figured it out. The crazy art teacher dad beatdown the coach at a catholic school. This grad was denied walking with her class cause she had a bun in her oven. I think I have figured all of this out. Public Schools = Crazy Students...Catholic Schools = Crazy Adults. It just all makes sense. And I thought the church was suppose to welcome all who tried to enter the house of God. These people should be ashamed of themselves. Not letting her walk and join in her class is not a very Christian thing to do, in my opinion.

And finally the woman that got her car repoed while her child was in the back seat. What was she doing leaving her child in the backseat, at midnight, at a health club? Did anyone else catch that, or found that strange?

Anyway, don't worry Ash, do be sad about not drinking and no tan. The only tan I have now is the one from my wrist down and from the back of my neck and up. Very stylish, if I might add. And O'douls does suck, can't help you there. Good luck with the seashell thing.

That's all I got, Klump --

Word Of The Day...

2005-05-19T22:34:00.000-05:00
Word Of The Day!

Lion Mutilates 42 Midgets in Cambodian Ring-Fight. No, I am not making this up.( Thanks April..)
The Locomotion has stopped...Ms. Kylie Minogue has been diagnosed with breast cancer...world stands in support.
Tori Amos covers Kylie Minogue's "I just can't get you outta my head"at a concert in Australia...listen to it here
Colorado man fired for drinking Coors Beer... I wonder what would have happened if it were Natie Lite?
Woman walking pet camel in West Virginia must call for help when her pet sits on a woman painting her picket fence...it almost reminds me of a MAD LIB!!
Authorities in Tanzania reveal WITH PRIDE that human "skinning" murders are down since 200
British Headline: Rather large tussle occurs outside top club over two premiership footballers. U.S. translation: British hoochies are ripping each other's clothes off outside over pro soccer dudes.
Your daughter has been suspended from the softball team for violating team policy. Do you:
A) Man up and accept the decision?
B) Get the team policy changed?
C) Beat the coach with an aluminum bat during practice?
Pregnant Catholic school girl announces her own name at graduation she was banned from walking in...SNAP!
Baby reposessed after mother fails to make payments...

So, summer nears and I am sad. Sad because for reasons that most of you know...I will be getting no tan this summer.I will be drinking no margaritas by the pool..unless I am slathered in SPF 700 and drinking a virgin margarita (Is there such a thing?) or O'Douls (yuck).

It is tragic, but I will make the most of summer and the friends that will be visiting or moving here permanantly. I am being optimistic people!!! And I am definantly loving the weather in Acadiana right now...it could possibly have always been this pretty, but I have only recently noticed because I would like to live on a beach and sell seashells to tourists...but alas,I am stuck in an office all day & i think that job is taken:(

Just felt like venting...

My commitment to bringing you unusual and amusing news bits will never be difficult with the state of world affairs as they currently are...It seems that someone is always doing something so jaw droppingly (is that a word) ignorant that I have no shortage of posts.

Word Of The Day...

2005-05-17T21:00:00.000-05:00
Looks like Klump will be here in only 2-3 weeks. It is exciting, but it sucks that it is not permanent.
Fun will be had by all, regardless! The luau party is tentatively scheduled for Joe's place because we were unable to find a suitable location with a pool. So Joe's it is for now. Keep your ears open for date/time. And now for...

The Word Of The Day
Senor Fox is gonna get jumped...seriously!
4 foot tall car thief uses 12 pack of Bud Light as a booster seat...
What this article means is "We have no clue how many hurricanes there will be so we say 'a lot', just to keep our asses covered...
This man really "sucks" at robbing banks...
Isn't Romania near Hungarian Transylvania??
Middle school girls suspended for hugging...Discuss.
Food chain to start offering "pay by touch" fingerprint pay system. So, next time you get a finger in your chili, use it to get free food...
So, those shifty Brits are having a little trouble coping without "the little sun" and "the little rain"...wow, I think TV3 in Lafayette was doing this years ago!
The Donald holds a press conference to unveil HIS plan for new WTC...the high point would be his calling current designer an "egghead"
50 fun things to de with your IPOD...
Dave Chapelle insists "I am not crazy, I am not smoking crack"...reminds me of when a drunk person insists "I ain't droonk!"

The comment war continues...

2005-05-13T20:02:00.000-05:00

Hey Everyone!!

I don't know if everyone is aware, but a comment war has begun...check out the post on Wednesday May 4th. Several UL/LSU fans have decided to go head to head on issues such as football, nightlife, and quality of university between the cities of Lafayette and Baton Rouge. Check it out!

Klump and I had a great talk yesterday and I could feel the strong LSU disdain through the instant messenger...he even sent me one of his favorite pics and a mardi gras self portrait from shopping cart day...
If anyone wants a cute little kitten, my sister decided to bring one home this past weekend. She is really cute. We named her Jack before we realized she was a girl. She is black with white "socks" and a white nose and mouth. She is PRECIOUS and I am not even a cat person. She can't be more than a month or two old. Probably weighs less than a pound and was almost hit by a car when we found her. We can't keep her because: a)I think I am allergic and b) Our dogs are not too happy with us about this. Please let me know!!

Hope everyone has a great weekend!!!
Go Cajuns!!!

A True Cajun Fan!!
Jason at Shopping Cart Day in New Orleans